Good Afternoon, Blogging Family! I’m excited to share that the podcast from Tuesday’s radio interview with Life!Line’s Craig Roberts is now available. In case you missed it or are not in the Bay Area, you can access it here.
This interview was particularly special for us because, in addition to being TBI Awareness month, it also focused more on Ivan’s perspective as the caregiver and how God has used our trials to challenge him and strengthen his faith over the years. Hope you enjoy!
Good morning, blogging family! We’re so excited to announce that we’ll be sharing our testimony and more of what we’re currently doing with ministry and music on Life!Line this afternoon as part of TBI awareness month! If you’re in the Bay Area, you can catch it live at 5 pm on KFAX AM 1100, or you can stream using this link. We’ll also post the episode here after the show.
It’s such a privilege for us to be part of this show and we’re so grateful for the wise, Christ-centered discussions that the host, Craig Roberts, is so skilled at leading. If you’re curious, you can also check out past episodes here (2023 and 2025). We hope you’ll be able to join us!
Last week I turned 33. One of the most obvious lessons from my accident that I remember every year was that we cannot take life for granted and only God knows what a day may hold. But this birthday was particularly significant because I was 23 when I was hit by the car. So it was even more impactful to consider both how much we’ve been through in the past ten years and how much God has restored. Psalm 103 is one of my favorite psalms:
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
I think it’s significant that in addition to being my birth month, March is also TBI Awareness Month. Although God has done amazing healing in my life, He’s also allowed the brain injury to remain. As a counselor, I describe it as the “context” for many practical and relational issues we navigate in daily life. The good news is that there are now long stretches of time when we’re not acutely aware of the presence of TBI. However, when I increase my activity or encounter certain complex relational challenges, we hit seasons that require a lot of wisdom and skill to navigate in a way that is healthy for both of us. Re-learning to drive, periodically planning events for writing and music, and increasing my ministry capacity at church are examples of relatively recent situations that have reminded us of my underlying TBI and are still challenging us to grow toward God and each other.
I’d like to close with an excerpt from a joint blog post we wrote for my publisher, Shepherd Press, in honor of TBI Awareness Month:
Ivan: God has grown me in many ways over the last nine years. Just as He sovereignly introduced TBI into Grace’s life, He also added the role of caregiver into mine. I’ve seen how conflating the roles of “husband” and “caregiver” can cause confusion and even hurt. Through experience, Grace and I have grown in seeking God’s wisdom to discern which aspects of our interactions have been affected by TBI, and which have not. Through this process, our desire has been to view each other more and more as God does, because He looks not at outward appearances but at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). TBI can distort certain daily interactions depending on the location and severity of the injury, but it cannot change that a person’s heart has already been filled with God’s Holy Spirit. Even in the middle of a TBI storm, God always holds His children’s hands securely in His. May He find childlike faith in each of our hearts as we walk with Him through TBI and beyond!
Grace: Before my accident, I was incredibly performance-driven. On the positive side, this helped me to excel at music, academics, and work, but it also deeply affected the way I related to God and people. While I wish I could say this is no longer a struggle for me, I am very grateful for how the Lord has used TBI to strip away many worldly achievements on which I used to build my identity. My years of recovery taught me to cry out to Him in prayer and also depend on Him in daily life in a deeper way than I believe would have occurred if I had continued on my former trajectory. He has also used it to reveal the motivations of my heart, and is continuing to reveal people and pursuits that I am worshiping before Him. While He graciously blessed me with a much fuller recovery than was initially expected, my residual TBI deficits remind me that He is the only One Who is truly unlimited. He is jealous for the Spirit He has placed within me, and He is always faithful to draw near when I cry out to Him. He draws near based on His character and promises, not my performance (James 4:5-8).
Thank you for taking this brief journey with us! Whether or not you have been impacted by TBI, we pray our story will strengthen your faith and help you grow in your walk with the Lord!
Good morning, Blogging Family! Thanks again so much for all your prayers over the past few weeks! It was also super encouraging for us to read the comments on my last post and learn ways that God has used Psalm 46 in your lives over the years. He truly is faithful!
Now that my hand is recovered, I wanted to give an update on what we’ve been up to this winter since the recital, as well as what we’re looking forward to the rest of the spring. It’s crazy to think that this time last year we were preparing to release our second book, Hello, God: Seeking the Lord When Words Fall Short, which drew on my personal experience of re-learning to pray after the brain injury. We’re both so grateful that God has opened the door for us to write two books about lessons He’s taught us from my accident, and continue to pray that He would use them for His purposes. Remembering what we were up to this time last year also explains what we’re currently pursuing!
First, based on my experiences sharing my faith in various hospital settings, as well as the journey we have shared with you all, I felt led to explore biblical counseling a few years ago. Due to a variety of factors, including writing two books in relatively short succession, counseling certification has not been something I mentioned here. Since January, I’ve been devoting the bulk of my energy to this ministry and have been blessed to see the Lord at work in people’s lives. I’ve also been very convicted about areas in which I need to personally grow as I spend time praying and preparing for sessions each week.
Although counseling is a major theme of my life right now, God is also being faithful in continuing to provide writing opportunities. Last summer, I got approved as a vendor for the San Jose Public Library, and loved teaching a fiction workshop last September. This April, I’ll be back to lead a poetry workshop. Although my published books have been nonfiction, I’m grateful to both SCAD and CalBaptist for challenging me to write in many genres while I was in school. So this is a huge blessing from the Lord because it challenges me to keep my writing skills sharp and allows me to continue teaching. I also see it as an indirect opportunity to witness because, although it’s a secular workshop, I can mention my own published work. 🙂
Finally, Ivan and I are grateful to have a couple of chances to share music and our testimony on the horizon. We loved sharing the history of violin with the Classical Conversations homeschool community last year, and are blessed to be returning in April, this time to talk about both violin and piano. We’re also excited to be partnering with a local small group to lead worship and share our testimony.
I’ll be posting more as we participate in some of these events. Thanks as always for your prayers and for walking with us!
Hello Blogging Family! Thank you all so much for your prayers and concern! I’m finally back to normal typing, and wanted to share a personal “thank you” as well as my own thoughts on the past couple of weeks.
Although we continue to be extremely grateful for just how faithful and powerful the Lord has been to restore so much of my life, this incident has reminded me that I’ve started to take certain parts of recovery for granted. On the bright side, it’s also been a sweet demonstration of all the love and support we continue to receive from our online community whenever there is a health-related update! ❤
As I consider the progress that I may have begun to take for granted – or push a little too far – working in the kitchen is one of the first things that comes to mind. Every time I’ve told my version of this latest incident and started with, “Well, I was opening a can one-handed…” I’m struck by how unwise this sounds. Although I’ve been opening cans for several years now, I’m realizing that it’s God’s mercy and protection that I made it this long without an accident.
While Ivan does most of the truly dangerous kitchen work at our house, I admit that my limitations with my left hand tempt me to feel insecure when I consider what other wives do for their husbands. This often prompts me to test my limits to see if I could be doing more. Hence my one-handed can-opening career. But the past couple of weeks have reminded us that when my experiments go south, I need significantly more help from him than if I focused on doing what we know I can do safely and well.
On the subject of help. the past couple of weeks have been a sweet reminder of how much Ivan is willing to help and how much my guilt for asking him is self-imposed. On the drive home from the hospital he began peppering me with questions about everything I would need help with now that I was down my right hand – including getting dressed. While I nixed that particular suggestion, the heart behind it was truly precious, and continued to remind me of how Ivan has always been willing to do whatever needs to be done to care for me.
And I did find myself humbled the following morning when we embarked on our two weeks of wound care. Although I knew I would need some help given that I had relatively incapacitated my dominant hand, after everything I’ve been through I pride myself on being rather tough and low maintenance. I laid everything out and read all the instructions, only to be hit by a wave of nausea when we removed the bandage. Maybe it’s been too many years since our last significant incident, or maybe there was something different about this cut (Ivan spared the gory details in his post), but I found myself unable to do anything except look away and pray while he did all the wound care. So this too was a poignant reminder, not just of Ivan’s willingness to help, but also of the Lord’s faithfulness and enabling power in all the trials we’ve been through in the past. I am more aware than ever that the grit I used to think was part of my personality is really an enabling grace God can give and remove as He sees fit. I’m very grateful for when He does choose to give it. When He does not, this causes me to depend on Him more closely and also be more grateful for the help I receive from others.
I’d like to close with Psalm 46, which my discipleship group recently memorized. The application question the week before my can-opener incident was “How are you going to apply this psalm to daily life?” At the time I’d talked about using it as a framework to pray for others and also praise God’s sovereignty over all our lives. I couldn’t imagine this application would get VERY real just a week later. In the ER, I was desperately looking for something to which I could fix my attention when it was time to get the stitches put in. Reciting the psalm in my mind and rehearsing the Lord’s presence and power transformed what would have been an otherwise extremely disconcerting few minutes for me. Hopefully this can also be an encouragement to all of you who have a practice of memorizing Scripture, or are considering starting this journey!
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling. SelahThere is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. SelahCome, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Good afternoon, Blogging Family! Thank you again so much to all of you who prayed for, attended, or expressed interest in our recital last Saturday! It was a sweet time of celebrating the Lord’s faithfulness over the years, and we were so humbled and blessed by everyone’s support, both in person and online! We would not be here today without the prayers, and love of far more people than we are even aware of, and Saturday was a vivid reminder of this reality.
We wanted to share this recording with those of you who were unable to attend in person but asked about a recording. If you tried to livestream, you’re aware that we ran into some unexpected network issues. Because of this, the version posted above is missing a few songs. However, I’m very grateful that Ivan could reconstruct the large majority of the recital and we hope you will enjoy the overall feel of the event! 🙂
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Update on 1/30/26: We’re continuing to get comments that some of you are having trouble viewing the embedded video. We’re working to figure it out! In the meantime, please follow this direct link to the performance. Thanks so much for your patience!
Good morning, Blogging Family! We can’t believe that it’s less than a week to our recital. We’ll be performing works by Bach, Mendelssohn, Massenet, and Rachmaninoff, as well as some original arrangements of our favorite worship songs.
If you’d like to attend in person, you can find out more details on our Facebook event page. We will also be live-streaming from our Facebook page if you can’t make it but would like to watch virtually. You don’t need a Facebook account to watch the livestream. 🙂
We pray it will be an encouraging time of worship and celebrating what God has done. Hope you can join us!
Merry Christmas Eve! Thank you so much for walking with us this December. We pray this series has been an encouraging aid in remembering the permanence of God’s promises toward us, and anticipating the future hope this brings us both in this life and in eternity.
As we anticipate Christmas tomorrow, I’d like to conclude with one of my favorite Messianic prophecies from Isaiah:
Out of the stump of David’s family will grow a shoot—
Isaiah 11:1-5
yes, a new Branch bearing fruit from the old root.
And the Spirit of the Lord will rest on him—
the Spirit of wisdom and understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and might,
the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.
He will delight in obeying the Lord.
He will not judge by appearance
nor make a decision based on hearsay.
He will give justice to the poor
and make fair decisions for the exploited.
The earth will shake at the force of his word,
and one breath from his mouth will destroy the wicked.
He will wear righteousness like a belt
and truth like an undergarment.
Here are some things that are blessing me as I meditate on this passage, both personally and as I consider what is going on in the world:
Merry Christmas! May we be filled with the eternal hope of Immanuel – God with us!
Good morning, everyone! As we near the end of our series, I wanted to loop you in to an exciting announcement we made yesterday on social media since I realize that some of you are not on those platforms. We are hosting another violin recital in January, and this one will be in-person if you happen to live in the area! If you don’t, we will be live-streaming through Facebook live like we did last time so you can still watch either live or after the fact. You can access the event details by following this link (you don’t need a Facebook account to access Facebook events or livestream).
I’m particularly grateful for this recital because it represents the growth of a friendship as well as a significant amount of musical improvement over the past year. Last December, my dad introduced me to Min because she was passionate about violin and has also made a career of studying the brain, and over the past year she has been such an encouragement to both of us with her love of the Lord and music, and her willingness to meet up and practice music, and encourage me to keep trying different things such as improvising. It was also her suggestion to put together this a program of both classical and worship music. She and Ivan will be performing solo pieces at this recital, too and I really hope some of you can make it in-person. Our hope is that it will be an encouraging time of worshiping the Lord through different genres of music for everyone in attendance!
See you tomorrow!
Good morning, everyone! A few days ago, I wrote about how Psalm 100 was a perennial favorite for finding joy in my own life and encouraging others. Today, as I’m nearing the end of my Bible reading plan, I was meditating on Psalm 101 (my Psalm readings are not in chronological order), and was struck by the fact that this is actually a wonderful Psalm to ponder as we approach Christmas:
I will sing of your love and justice, Lord.
I will praise you with songs.
I will be careful to live a blameless life—
when will you come to help me?
I will lead a life of integrity
in my own home.
I will refuse to look at
anything vile and vulgar.
I hate all who deal crookedly;
I will have nothing to do with them.
I will reject perverse ideas
and stay away from every evil.I will not tolerate people who slander their neighbors.
I will not endure conceit and pride.I will search for faithful people
Psalm 101:1-8
to be my companions.
Only those who are above reproach
will be allowed to serve me.
I will not allow deceivers to serve in my house,
and liars will not stay in my presence.
My daily task will be to ferret out the wicked
and free the city of the Lord from their grip.
My first reaction to reading this psalm was, “Wow, how inspiring!” But as I sat with it a bit longer and asked the Holy Spirit to illuminate my own heart, I became more uncomfortable. These are wonderful aspirations, and as the inspired Word of God, they represent God’s desired will for my life, but sadly I can’t say that this psalm reflects the truth about my life all the time. Even the opening gave me pause: I love singing praises to God in church and try to make a practice of singing at home as well, but can I with 100% certainty say that my praise is always coming from a completely sincere, undistracted heart? I was also struck by the verse “I live a life of integrity in my own home.” It’s easy to serve in church and focus on the status of my outward-facing relationships, but how would my family describe me? Even if Ivan affirms my integrity, how would I score with God, who knows the deepest secrets of my heart? And then there’s the part about not enduring “conceit and pride.” Once again, I’m fairly good at identifying certain overt sins, but a judgmental or critical spirit can slip under the radar.
By the time I’d reached the end of the psalm, I’d been reminded – yet again – that I am not above reproach, especially if I’m considering the thoughts of my heart that only the Lord sees. But instead of being depressed, I was encouraged that, while David’s aspirations in this psalm are righteous – especially given his role as king of Israel – at certain points in his life even he would not have met the requirements he was inspired to write.
But one of David’s descendants would. In addition to dying for our sins, Jesus lived the perfect life that none of us could ever live so that his righteousness could be fully credited to each of us who trusts him for salvation. I believe God includes passages like Psalm 101 for us in Scripture to remind us of his holy standard, and to encourage us to keep pursuing these character qualities once we’ve received our new nature as believers (Col. 3:10). As we look forward to Christmas, let us give thanks for the new natures we’ve received and the progressive sanctification that is taking place in all our lives, all because Jesus humbled himself, took on human flesh, and lived a perfect life in our place 2,000 years ago!
See you tomorrow!
Walking With Grace 