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Another Miracle

Some of Kaiser’s MRIs take place in remote trailers in the parking lot. This was a new experience for me!

Good morning, Blogging Family! Thank you all so much for your kind comments after Ivan’s last update. We have been so blessed during our nine years in the Bay Area. Although we are excited to discover what God has for us in Indianapolis, we will miss our NorCal friends and church family dearly!

It is my joy to share another exciting update with you all – and one that is even more life-changing than relocating to the Midwest. If you’ve followed us for a while, you may remember my post about honoring God in pregnancy, especially when carrying a baby poses a risk to the mother’s health. Ivan also shared how God has used our struggles in this area to refine his faith in our second book, Hello God.

To recap, one of my residual injuries from the 2016 accident was an ongoing dissected carotid artery. The original dissection occurred the day I was hit by the car and caused my two strokes. Although I had other vascular injuries that were repaired surgically, the carotid artery dissected in such a way that doctors felt this type of intervention was not worth the risk. My medical team allowed a reasonable amount of time for the artery to heal on its own. While we were waiting to see if the dissection would resolve naturally, I had an IVC filter placed in my lower abdomen and took daily blood thinning injections to prevent additional clots and strokes. When they did a scan the following year to reevaluate the artery, they found it was still partially dissected. It also displayed a small flap at the opening that posed a particular risk of blood clots.

After we learned the artery would likely remain partially dissected, doctors decided to remove the IVC filter and discontinue the injections. My ongoing instructions were to maintain a healthy diet, foster circulation through rigorous, regular cardiovascular exercise, and avoid activities that could cause a second dissection. (Hence my persistent love of working out! 😊).

One of the “activities” we were consistently counseled to avoid was pregnancy. These warnings were based not only on the carotid artery but also my uncontrolled seizures. God miraculously removed my seizures in late 2023, but as far as we knew the carotid artery was still a life-threatening barrier to biological children. Although I’ve had subsequent CT and MRI scans over the years, no one mentioned a change in the artery’s condition, or updated the warnings against pregnancy we received in 2017-2019. As our desire for children increased, we began researching adoption.

In spite of our research, God continued using various conversations and interactions to impress biological kids on our hearts. He also continued bringing up various obstacles to adoption. After we got back from our Australia-Indonesia trip this past summer, we prayerfully decided to follow these leadings and inquire about biological kids one more time. My initial meetings with neurology, OB-GYN, and high-risk OB-GYN reiterated the same advice we received years ago. While I’m overall quite healthy given everything I’ve gone through, and it was likely they could save the baby if I got pregnant and something “went wrong” later in the pregnancy, my own future would be more uncertain.

This forced us to do more serious praying and considering. Although it is God’s desired will for marriages to produce children (Gen. 1:28, Titus 2:3-5), living in a broken world means this may not always be part of His ordained will. I would love to do whatever is needed to bless Ivan with a child. Nevertheless if a vascular event during pregnancy or labor left him to care for a newborn and a permanently disabled wife, I would not be blessing Ivan or our child.

However, as you might have noticed, these deliberations and prayer times were missing a very significant data point – a current scan of the artery. We requested an MRI to see if there had been any change since the last prognosis. Then we waited. In years past, I’ve never waited more than a few days (perhaps a week at the longest) for imaging. However, through this process we learned that since I’m now considered relatively healthy, I don’t get to jump to the front of the queue like before. 😉

We requested the MRI in late June and I received a date for mid-August. This gave us extra time to pray, prepare our hearts, and evaluate how much of my safety we would be willing to risk in order to pursue a biological pregnancy. The day of the MRI finally arrived – only to reveal that there was a coding error and the tech had an order to scan a different part of my body. I asked if they could contact the neurologist on call to correct the error, but was told that the update would have to come from my personal doctor – when she returned to the office. We drove home very disappointed. But as the days passed, we also saw more clearly that this “setback” allowed even more time to pray and discern God’s will.

We were finally able to complete the scan about 10 days ago – almost exactly three months after we requested it. In my heart, I’d continued to sense that God was leading us to pursue kids regardless of what the scan said. But like I’ve described above, I’d also been encouraged to consider that this desire should not put an additional lifelong burden on Ivan, or any child God chose to bless us with.

My first hint that something had changed came at the end of the MRI. The tech asked why my doctor ordered the scan, which I thought was an odd question. Although radiology techs are not supposed to interpret images, they do look at the scans while they are conducting them. This means they can often see if there is a visible problem. True to protocol, he did not comment after I explained the residual artery dissection, but his question elevated my hopes that perhaps something had changed since last time.

Sure enough, the next day we received the interpretation from my neurologist and high-risk OB-GYN. The artery is now fully healed! There is not even any narrowing or roughness where the dissection and flap had previously been, both of which would still pose vascular risk to pregnancy and labor. This “healed but weakened” outcome was the result they considered likely if the artery did show signs of repair. In contrast, the full healing revealed by the scan means there is now no ongoing condition that would make pregnancy unsafe for me.

CT in 2017
MRI in 2026

We are both humbled and overwhelmed with awe at how God has chosen to intervene miraculously in our lives yet again. He continues to restore desires and abilities that we thought were gone forever! Since people don’t usually feel vascular changes unless there is an acute problem, I don’t have any physical markers that suggest when the healing actually took place. It could have happened years ago, or quite recently. What we know for sure is the Lord’s timing is perfect in impressing this desire for biological children on our hearts, bringing about confirming conversations and prayers with those around us, and providing the medical data to reveal what He had already done. May He receive all the glory both from healing the artery itself, and from the future addition to our family we hope and pray He will provide soon! Thank you all for your faithful prayers and support in walking through the many highs and lows we’ve encountered in the past nine years.

“For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.”

Romans 11:36
Posted on by ivanutomo · 5 Comments

New Horizons

Hello Blogging Family, Grace and I have some bittersweet news to share…after nine and a half years in San Jose, Lord-willing we will be relocating to Indianapolis next month! I’m excited to share that I’ve accepted the position of Fine Arts Director at Heritage Christian School. The Lord has been so gracious to open this door of opportunity, and we are trusting Him to continue guiding us in this next chapter.

As the prophet Jeremiah said:

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is Your faithfulness.”

lamentations 3:22-23

Truly, great is God’s faithfulness. It’s often easier to see this in hindsight, but it is nevertheless true at all times. When Grace and I moved from Riverside to San Jose in June 2017, we could never have imagined all that lay ahead for us here. We moved with the mindset of, “God will provide” — and He did, in a way only He could have.

As many of you know, my training is as a musician; my undergraduate and Master’s degrees are in Piano Performance. In tech-saturated Silicon Valley, this is a bit of a niche skill set. Many professional musicians make a living by combining incomes from performing, teaching, and maybe composing or arranging. However, given Grace’s acute medical needs at that time, I knew we needed more financial stability than a gigging lifestyle could provide. Teaching music at a school would allow me to use my music training while providing a stable income.

In God’s great mercy, He opened the door for me to work at Valley Christian Schools (VCS) immediately after we moved to San Jose. I initially applied to teach Junior High science (not having a professional background in science, but knocking on every door I could find). In God’s providence, very kind and helpful people helped me connect with the Director of the Conservatory of the Arts at VCS. I spoke with him and he graciously invited me to join the Conservatory team as a Junior High and High School teacher.

Over time, I shifted my emphasis from teaching to school administration. Four years ago I took on the role of Associate Director for the Conservatory; and last summer by God’s grace I completed my EdD in Organizational Leadership. I’ve really enjoyed working in school administration, as it’s given me the opportunity to think strategically while at the same time continue to work with teachers, students, and families.

This past summer, I became aware of Heritage’s search for someone to lead their arts department; we connected, and on August 31st, Grace and I flew out to Indianapolis so that the following day I could visit Heritage in person. In God’s timing, the Fine Arts Director position was offered, and I accepted. (Incidentally, this is also where the picture above comes in; we had reserved a “compact” rental car online, but received the pictured Jeep Wrangler instead! Neither Grace nor I had driven a Jeep before, so this was also a new adventure. 😉)

I used the word “bittersweet” at the beginning of this post because, while Grace and I are excited for this next stage in my career, we are at the same time very much not looking forward to saying goodbye to the many wonderful people we’ve met and formed relationships with here in the Bay Area. To our San Jose community: thank you for being channels of God’s blessing in our lives over these past nine years. May you seek the Lord more and more each day, and may He lead and bless you.

To our future friends and community in Indianapolis: We look forward to walking alongside you, and pray that God would use us to bless and encourage one another as we seek to honor Him in all we do. To all our blog family, thank you for faithfully walking with us over the past (almost) ten years! Here’s to new horizons.

Heritage Christian School, Indianapolis, IN

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Concrete Glory

As a TBI survivor, I am deeply aware of what it means to live with an invisible, life-altering, injury. Depending your own life history, you may possess scars that are apparent to the naked eye. Or perhaps you’ve experienced trials that don’t manifest physically but still have wide-reaching emotional and spiritual effects. 2 Cor. 3:17-19 is a passage that God consistently uses to encourage me, and I pray it will be encouraging to you all as well!

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

            One result of my injury brain injury is that I struggle with hypothetical thinking. Whether or not you share a similar physical challenge, finding hope for today in the amazing future promises that the Apostle Paul lays out may feel difficult. How does the promise of future glory transform our daily experience in concrete ways?

            We begin by remembering God’s character never changes. (Malachi 3:6). Therefore, we can trust that His Word – and the promises it contains – are completely trustworthy and not subject to alteration. We also see God explicitly declaring that His Word expresses both His sovereignty and His foreknowledge in Isaiah 46:9-10: “I am God, and there is no other… declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose.'” Putting all these concepts together, we can trust that when God supernaturally inspired men to author Scripture, there were not any human conditions or events at any point in history that would occur outside of His sovereign plan or that His Word would not be sufficient for.

 From this foundation, we can move into the basic promise of 2 Cor. 3:17, which although a bit more abstract, is still relatively accessible. If we are believers, Paul is saying that we have all already received the Holy Spirit. If you notice what I am doing here, I am still dealing with facts that are either eternal (can be thought of as present tense) or took place in the past  (usually easier to conceptualize).

Next, we see that Paul says the Holy Spirit produces freedom in our lives. This is moving toward the conceptual, but is still relatively recognizable. That being said, we can make it more concrete by asking: What would I like to be rid of? Or, What would I like to be able to do? While we don’t know God’s plan for physical healing in everyone’s life, we do know that the Holy Spirit always gives believers the power to grow in knowing and loving Him and loving others (Matt. 22:37-39; 2 Peter 1:3-9). He wants us to get rid – be free – of attitudes, actions, and circumstances that hinder these goals. We should also seek out attitudes, actions, and circumstances that help us foster these goals. Freedom comes from being more aligned with God’s goals, which are always more concerned with our heart than our physical abilities – or deficits. 

While TBI often impacts emotional regulation, thus making certain aspects of loving God and others more difficult for me, Scripture tells us that no physiological calamity can touch our souls, and that God is in the process of renewing all of us. (Matt. 10:28; 2 Cor. 4:16). Although certain aspects of our sanctification may be more challenging depending on when we came to Christ, our cultural background, or even something like a physical limitation, we can be confident that it is still possible to grow in loving God and loving others. The more we submit to the work God wants to do in us through the power of His Word and His Holy Spirit, the more we will experience the “freedom” God promises us in 2 Cor. 3:17-19, whether or not we are able to imagine freedom as an abstract concept.

The same is true for the next promise – that we will be transformed “from one degree of glory to another.” This is the portion that has been the most challenging for me to conceptualize. Most of us can probably imagine concrete examples of beauty or pleasure, such as a kaleidoscopic sunset, or chocolate chip cookies baking, or the downy fur of your favorite puppy. “Glory” in a spiritual sense might be harder to call to mind in the same concrete way we do for beautiful or pleasurable earthly experiences. The good news is that no one knows for sure what heaven will be like, so those of us who have trouble visualizing what Paul is describing in 2 Corinthians 3 are in good company. What we do know for sure is that even now, everything God allows into our lives is conforming us “to the image of His Son” (Romans 8:29). When we get to Heaven, this transformation process will be completed. The Apostle John writes that “we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is” (1 John 3:2). 

For me, putting this verse into practice has meant looking forward to seeing my Savior face-to-face and enjoying His presence completely free from the lingering remnants of sin. I can’t wait to possess a mind and body that are perfectly suited to both glorifying God and enjoying Him forever. It also means looking forward to sharing this experience with fellow believers in our perfected state, free from the limitations and sin that can make even the best relationships challenging.

In the present, I think this also means looking for ways to praise God for how we see Him increasing not just our ability to love Him and love others, but also how we see Him increasing these abilities in the lives of those around us. This daily sanctification is the downpayment of the glory we’ve been promised, and the more we grow in identifying and expressing gratitude for His Spirit’s work in our lives, the more we will grow in our ability to anticipate and hope in future glory. This daily gratitude also reminds us that God is keeping His promise to complete His good work in all of us, even we are going through a trial or His work seems more apparent at certain times than others.

I am far from doing any of these things well or consistently, but I am grateful for how God continues to use this passage to renew both my mind and heart. I pray that sharing a little bit if my journey with this 2 Cor. 3 has been encouraging for you, and that God will use these verses to bring vivid hope for whatever you may be going through. We can trust that His promises never fail!

Posted on by ivanutomo · 1 Comment

Established in Every Season

Good morning, Blogging Family! Two weeks ago Grace and I were looking for a new redwoods park to explore, and we found Bear Creek Redwoods Open Preserve, which was only 30 minutes away. Most other forests are over an hour away, either by Oakland or across the Golden Gate Bridge in Marin County. As you can see in Grace’s photo at the end of this post, we even spotted a heron successfully hunting a mouse!

While we were exploring, it was amazing to consider that the redwoods around us could live for hundreds of years, far longer than any human. It’s even more amazing to think about how “old” God is–that He is, in fact, older than time itself! He is beyond time; He transcends it. He is eternal.

This August also marks the beginning of my 10th year at VCS. I’m grateful for God’s grace and mercy in bringing me to this milestone! Yet ten years are like the blink of an eye, from an eternal perspective. As Moses said in Psalm 90:

“Lord, you have been our dwelling place
    in all generations.
Before the mountains were brought forth,
    or ever you had formed the earth and the world,
    from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

You return man to dust
    and say, ‘Return, O children of man!’
For a thousand years in your sight
    are but as yesterday when it is past,
    or as a watch in the night.” (Ps 90:1-4)

I don’t know what this year will hold, but I know that God is still God. He has been my dwelling place, and will continue to be. Whatever you may be facing in this season, I pray that God’s eternal nature will comfort you too as you depend on His sovereign care for you. As Moses prayed, may we also pray:

“So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.”

Psalm 90:12

May God “establish the work of our hands” (Ps 90:17) as we humbly walk with Him each day, doing our best to steward what He has entrusted to us. One day soon, by the grace of Christ, we will see the Eternal One face to face and enjoy being with Him forever. Blessings to you!

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Video Testimony: Unshakeable

Good Morning, Blogging Family! This past weekend, we were incredibly grateful to share our testimony in a breakout session at ICPF USA‘s NorCal conference. We learned about this organization through a friend at church who has been involved for most of her life, first as a student and now as Media Director for the NorCal chapter. The theme for this year’s conference was “Unshakeable,” and the key verses were from Hebrews:

“Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe,  for our God is a consuming fire.”

Hebrews 12:28-29

It was a blessing to meet brothers and sisters from not just around the country but around the world, yet experience the sweet and nearly instant bond of fellowship that occurs in the family of God. We were greatly encouraged to see so many families worshiping together, and also meet people from all life stages and backgrounds. As always, our favorite part continues to be hearing testimonies of God’s faithfulness and power in the lives of those we meet!

It has also been encouraging and convicting to meditate on Hebrews 12:28-29 in preparation for the conference. One truth that the Lord continues to impress on my heart (but that did not make it into our talk!) is that our gratitude and worship is based on receiving the kingdom of Heaven. God’s kingdom hinges on His promises, not our perfection. While it is true that He does use us as instruments to accomplish His will in spreading the gospel and building His church, Christ’s atoning work on our behalf was finished 2,000 years ago. Furthermore, even the spread of the gospel and the preservation of the church depend ultimately on God’s Word and Spirit being active. And because of this, in even in the most challenging seasons of our lives, our identity is first “receiver,” then “partner.”

We continue to be so grateful for opportunities to share what God has done and worship with brothers and sisters in Christ from many different backgrounds. Thank you as always for your prayers and we hope this can encourage you as well!

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Ministry Partnership: Hope After Brain Injury

Good morning, Blogging Family! We’re blessed and excited to announce a new ministry partnership. As we’ve continued to pray and consider how to be good stewards of our testimony, God consistently puts serving the brain injury/TBI community on our hearts. We also believe that, although my combination of stroke and TBI is relatively rare, this can also help us better understand and pray for brothers and sisters experiencing a wide variety of trials, even if their particulars might be different than what we’ve gone through.

These were some considerations that led us to write Hello, God last year, encouraged me to finish my ACBC counseling certification this year, and opened the door to continue focusing on the TBI community this spring.

We’re also really grateful that God is continuing to answer our prayers by allowing a partnership with Hope After Brain Injury. I have admired this organization for a long time because, although there are many wonderful resources for brain injury/TBI available, it is still challenging to find Christian organizations that specialize in brain injury. It’s even harder to find Christian organizations that specialize in brain injury and put their resources online! I’m very grateful for the work this organization is doing for both brain injury survivors and caregivers, and that they make so much available to people living all over the country. Their book, Letters of Hope and Wisdom for Brain Injury Survivors, is the first full-length Christian book I’ve found that offers practical education and guidance to survivors and families during various stages of the brain injury journey. (Dr. Stuart Scott has an excellent mini-book for caregivers during the initial stages of brain injury.) We’re also very humbled and grateful that Hope After Brain Injury is now featuring Hello, God on their “Resources for Survivors” page. This is an unexpected blessing, and we pray it will be a small way to share the comfort and hope God continues to pour into our lives (2 Cor. 1:3-7).

Thanks as always for walking with us, and we also encourage you to take advantage of Hope for Brain Injury if you know of anyone who could benefit from their resources!

Posted on by ivanutomo

Mindful of Us All

Hello Blogging Family! It’s now been just about a month since Grace and I returned from our trip to Australia and Indonesia. I’m still so thankful that God allowed us to travel together, since in the early days of Grace’s accident I would’ve absolutely ruled out international travel. It’s good to be proven wrong by God.

The picture above is from Newport Beach in Sydney. June is winter in Australia, so the temperature was in the 60’s when we visited this beach, pleasantly cool and not too hot at all! We were among the only people there that afternoon. I was struck by the wide expanse of the sky meeting the curving horizon in the distance. The view was bounded by towering rock cliffs on either side of the beach, creating a picturesque cove.

Living in the middle of a busy, tech-saturated city, it’s easy for me to forget the grandeur of the natural world God created. As impressive as man’s creations have been, they pale in comparison to the works of the Creator Himself–including ourselves.

Psalm 100:2 reminds us: “Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.”

And David, in Psalm 8, famously said:

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
    the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
    and the son of man that you care for him? O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Psalm 8:3-4, 9

How majestic is the name of the Lord, in Australia, Indonesia, California, and across the whole world! God, in His wisdom and grace, has made you and me “a little lower than the heavenly beings” (Ps 8:5). As human beings we bear the image of God Himself. What an incredible privilege!

Yet may we also never forget that we were never meant to be the center of the universe–either the actual physical universe, or the private ones each of us inhabit in our hearts and minds. Yesterday, our pastor was preaching on the topic of missions, and he pointed out that perhaps many of us have yet to experience the “Copernican revolution” of replacing a man-centered view of the reality with a God-centered view.

A God-centered view of reality was what prompted David to cry out, “What is man that you are mindful of him?” Is that how we view ourselves today?

Sometimes, even when I’m not fully aware of it, I act as if God owes me something. When I don’t get what I want, or get what I don’t want, the frustration or bitterness that ensues proves that, in that moment, I’m not viewing Him as my Lord but rather as my benefactor.

But Jesus’ rightful title has always been and will always be, “King of Kings and Lord of Lords” (Rev 19:16). The ultimate joy and blessing of this life and the next is to personally know and be known by the God who created the world, and us–to worship and enjoy our Savior and King forever. Be encouraged today that, in His grace, He is mindful of us.

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A Passage to Indo Part III: Trip Recap!

Happy Tuesday, Blogging Family! We recently got back from our much-anticipated trip to Australia and Indonesia and are slowly adjusting to being back on this side of the dateline 🙂 Thank you so much for your prayers! It was a truly blessed trip, and I’m excited to share some highlights. If you’re new to this series, you can catch up on previous posts here.

While the overarching purpose of our trip was for us to spend time with Ivan’s extended family and for me to experience Indonesia for the first time, the flight paths also provided a wonderful opportunity to schedule a “long layover” on Sydney and spend time with a friend from my time studying violin in New York who’s been instrumental in helping me relearn violin (over Zoom), and has also prayed for and encouraged us over the years. It was very sweet spending time together in person for the first time in over a decade, worshiping together in church on Sunday, and also exploring a beautiful city and marveling at amazing aspects of God’s creation that apparently are “normal” down under but exotic to us Americans. The photos of the wallaby and cockatiels were not taken at a zoo!

After Sydney, we flew another 8 hours to Surabaya, where Ivan did most of middle school. It was educational for me to tour his school, Intan Permata Hati (IPH). Particularly interesting was the fact that the school has certain zones marked “English only” and the teacher giving the tour noted how hard it is to enforce the English-speaking zones. Those of us who’ve met Ivan as an adult probably have a hard time imagining him as anything other than what I like to call “EFL” (English-First-Language), but visiting IPH reminded me that English is in fact his second language. I’m very grateful that Ivan’s parents were intentional about investing in an education that would foster English fluency, and that even as a young teenager he was committed to practice while living in Indo!

Most significantly, it was such a sweet blessing to meet so many of Ivan’s relatives who are still living in the Surabaya area. I was overwhelmed by their kindness, generosity, and hospitality. They went out of their way to make me feel welcome and included in the family gatherings, and waited very patiently while Ivan translated what they said! My Indo language skills are sub-par at best. I could understand quite a bit of what was said, but by the time I thought of a reply, the moment was LONG gone. This meant that 98% of the time I only smiled and nodded, or answered in English. Given this dynamic, I was extremely grateful for everyone’s kindness and patience. I also think that this dynamic is a marked difference between entering a family of believers vs. entering a family of unbelievers. Although there is some sense of obligation to be courteous in many families, I think the knowledge that we were also brothers and sisters in Christ and shared a common spiritual bond was an undeniable, additional motivator in overcoming differences from language and culture.

After Surabaya we flew to Jakarta, where we met even more relatives. Once again, I continued to be so blessed by everyone’s welcoming attitude and desire to connect and build relationships right away! We also got the amazing opportunity to explore Sepa Island, which is about a 90 min. ferry ride away in the Java Sea. As you can see from the photo, we passed a lot of interesting ships and fishing boats on our way to and from the island. I’d never been to a tropical beach before, so after we got there I was amazed that we could literally see tropical fish swimming in the water around us! The island also had an area where we could observe a lot of small sharks. This was fascinating for me, although I’m not sure it held quite the same allure for Ivan. 😉

Overall, we were also both very grateful for good health until the ferry ride back to Jakarta from Sepa Island. I may have already been getting sick because, although I got motion sick on the boat ride, I never completely recovered. Let’s just say that the flights back to San Francisco through Singapore were quite long indeed and certain symptoms still have not worn off.

Nevertheless, given our rigorous travel and activity schedule, the fact that we (especially me) made it that far unscathed is a HUGE praise and testimony to God’s faithfulness and protection. When we first started traveling internationally a couple of years ago, a trip with this level of back-to-back activity, plus lengthy flights, would have seemed impossible. We are so grateful for everything that God has done and continues to do in both of our lives to make this trip possible specifically for the purpose of building and strengthening relationships.

Thank you again so much for your prayers! We are excited to see what He will do the rest of the summer!

Posted on by graceutomo12 · 7 Comments

A Passage to Indo Part II: Counting Down to Takeoff!

This is the best of several attempts to depict our flight path using ChatGPT. It has us taking off in Nevada and landing in the Indian Ocean 😉

Happy Wednesday, Blogging Family! We can’t believe that our long-awaited trip to Australia and Indonesia is just seven days away. As I shared in my first post in this series, although we’ve been blessed to travel internationally several times in recent years through VCS, our plan to visit Ivan’s family shortly after our wedding has been delayed almost a decade. This was originally due to my health and then subsequently to other factors like cost and Ivan’s travel schedule at work. We are so grateful to see God answering our prayers and opening doors to finally make our dream a reality after so much waiting!

One lesson we have learned – and I’m sure will continue learning – from our previous international trips is the importance of preparing our minds and hearts ahead of time. No matter how alluring the destination or exciting the itinerary, the truth is that jet lag, unexpected changes in plans, and (often) trying to navigate in a foreign language bring out our selfish tendencies and unreasonable expectations. Not to mention herding teenagers. We are blessed to be traveling without a group (for only the second time in a decade of marriage!), and at least one of us in a native speaker in both countries we’re visiting. What’s even more exciting is that this trip is purely relational, and has no work obligations.

Nevertheless, we’re both aware that although the circumstances surrounding our journey to Australia and Indo are different, the temptations we usually face will still be active. Since we bought our tickets a few months ago, we’ve been praying that God would help us to view this trip as an opportunity to seek to bless and encourage everyone we’re visiting. We’re praying that He would continue reminding us that this is an opportunity to serve His kingdom and is not a vacation meant to gratify our own desires, and guard us from disappointment if things don’t turn out exactly like we hope. One passage God has been bringing to mind recently is the opening to Colossians 3:

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.  For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”

Col. 3:1-4

Setting my mind on earthly hopes is a giant temptation for me with this trip, given that we’ve been praying for an opportunity to take it for many years and don’t know if or when we’ll be able to do it again. I’m also praying that, in addition to helping us focus on Kingdom priorities, God will help us to view each other with extra grace and compassion, and believe the best about each other in difficult situations (1 Cor. 13:7). When things don’t go as planned, it’s tempting to blame the person closest to you, whether or not that is the loving, biblical response.

Thank you so much for your prayers and walking with us, and I look forward to sharing more when we get back!

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My First “Grown Up” Bible + How I Became a Christian

Happy Monday, Blogging Family! At this point, many of you know that my dad will be retiring from full-time ministry near the end of the year. Needless to say, this is a bittersweet transition for our family. It has already provided opportunities to reflect on how the Lord has provided for, sustained, and blessed my parents’ lives and ministry over the years. I’m sure we will continue grow in gratitude (and also sadness as their season of vocational ministry concludes) as Fall approaches. 

An unexpected blessing I’ve received during this time is rediscovering some “artifacts” my dad preserved in his office over the decades – and several cross- country moves. One of these was my first “grown up” Bible. Although I admit that I had forgotten about it in recent years, when Dad returned it to me last week, it brought back many childhood memories. 

As you can see from the picture, it’s a relatively standard NASB leather Bible. As an eight- or nine-year-old, I remember being very impressed with the “grown up” black leather Bibles my parents carried to church, and wishing I could have one that looked like theirs. This was before I became a Christian, so looking back I am also sure that I was most motivated by the appearance of carrying a “grown up” Bible and looking like an “obedient” child – especially to adults. Nevertheless, my parents must have paid attention to what I was asking, because my dad presented me with my very own “grown up” Bible, and also explained to me that the NASB was the “best” modern translation. As you might imagine, this really boosted my assumption that others would view me as “grown up” and “good.” I do remember being very proud of carrying my new Bible to church, but I don’t remember how often I read it if no one was watching. Looking back on this turn of events as an adult, I am grateful that my parents were willing to bless me with a real leather Bible at such a young age, especially since my dad would have still been in seminary!

Later that year, or possibly the next year, I remember hearing a sermon that helped me understand that no matter how hard I tried – or even succeeded – at appearing “good” to other people, God could see all the evil thoughts of my heart. This made my outward “obedience” like filthy rags in His sight. I was not a good little girl at all, no matter what kind of Bible I had. The only thing that could help me have a right relationship with Him was trusting that Jesus had died for my sin and conquered sin and death by rising again. This also included admitting that I sinned against God whether or not other people saw it, and asking God’s mercy and forgiveness. Since I was born into a Christian home, and my dad went to seminary when I was 5, I can’t remember a time when I could not recite the gospel. But for me, just like anyone else, “knowing” the gospel was not enough. I still needed the Holy Spirit to open my eyes in a specific, personal way to my own spiritual deadness, as well as the hope of salvation and eternal life that is available through Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection.

After that moment, the “grown up” Bible that I had originally wanted for appearance’s sake suddenly became intrinsically valuable. I remember wanting to spend time reading it, whether or not anyone saw me, and also wanting to go to church. Although I was still a relatively young child, the Holy Spirit had taken up residence in my heart and I understood these previously boring activities were ways to learn more about God.

In 2026 many of us are probably using the ESV or something similar rather than the NASB (this story takes place around the turn of the millennium 😊), but it’s a testimony to God’s Spirit working through His Word that in elementary school I wanted to spend time reading a translation that we now consider a bit unwieldy. As I’ve had time to flip through its pages over the past week, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find many passages in the New Testament circled and underlined and marked in a child’s handwriting as “favorite,” several of which I still often use in personal prayer or counseling. One of them is the Apostle Paul’s famous prayer:

And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

Phil. 1:9-11

I also remember being very excited when the ESV was released sometime during high school, and as I’ve had time to do a side-by-side this week I can see why many of us made the switch. However, I will always be so grateful for how God used my parents and my first “grown up” Bible to begin His good work in my life, and I’m so thankful to be reunited with it after many years. I also plan to continue using it as a physical reminder of God’s faithfulness, provision, and protection throughout all our lives.

Whatever season you may find yourself in, I pray that God will open your eyes to reminders of His faithful, shepherding hand, and His sure promise to work all things to produce His fruit in your life and shape you more and more into the image of His Son, which is always our ultimate good.