I’ve spent a lot of time meditating on Psalm 131 this year, and I wanted to share it with you all today, as Christmas certainly comes with more opportunities to gather, do ministry, and travel to see friends and family than we encounter any other season. Depending on our life situation, this may create excitement and anticipation as December 25th draws near, or it may exacerbate other emotions like discouragement or anxiety about the future.

And these temptations to get swept away by the hustle and bustle or give into other, less pleasant feelings are why I’m loving Psalm 131 so much right now. I first began sitting with this Psalm in the spring during a counseling class, where we were challenged to meditate on and pray over it every day for a month. If you’re interested in trying this out for yourself, I’ve attached an article that gets to the heart of the psalm and also describes ways to begin praying and meditating on it here. In the summer, our church did a series on the Psalms of Ascent which included Psalm 131, and that prompted me to revisit it for another fruitful season in my prayer life.

Until this year, I’d tended to gloss over Psalm 131, because I never really understood what David is saying when he compares himself to a weaned child. But these seasons of looking at it more deeply helped me realize that part of the beauty of the psalm is not just this unusual metaphor but also its counter-metaphor. A weaned child trusts that his mother will feed him at the right time and so can simply enjoy sitting in her lamp (i.e. her presence) without constantly being anxious about whether or not he’s going to be fed. In contrast, an infant’s primary concern is for survival. He’s not yet able to enjoy his mother’s company. He’s driven by the instinctual belief that, unless he screams, he will not be fed. So this psalm is a picture of David’s calm confidence that God will meet his needs in the right way at the right time, without him having to “take matters into his own hands” to force that to take place.

Whatever your current emotions may be as we find ourselves halfway through this Advent season, I encourage you to take a few moments today to meditate on this brief psalm and re-center on the rest and quietness that is always found in contemplating God’s gracious, loving sovereignty.

Lord, my heart is not proud;
    my eyes are not haughty.
I don’t concern myself with matters too great
    or too awesome for me to grasp.
 Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself,
    like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk.
    Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord—
    now and always.

See you tomorrow!

Good morning, everyone! Today I’d like to introduce you to a wonderful missionary couple, Shannon and Danielle Hurley, who are also fellow authors with Shepherd Press.

The Hurleys founded Sufficiency of Scripture (S.O.S.) Ministries in Uganda, where their mission is to strengthen the local church and raise faithful believers through Shepherd’s Training College and Legacy Christian School.

To support the Hurley’s ministry, Shepherd Press is currently offering a 20% discount and will match 20% of all profits to donate to S.O.S. Ministries through Sunday, December 14th.

See you tomorrow!

A few days ago, I mentioned that we read through the Bible every year. This lines up wonderfully with the Advent season, as it means we are typically reading through Revelation at the end of the year. Although Advent is most commonly known as a time for anticipating Jesus’ birth or first coming, a full celebration of Advent also acknowledges that we are once again awaiting Jesus’ arrival. But this time we are not awaiting His arrival as propitiation for our signs, but rather his arrival as the victorious King who will establish his earthly kingdom and heal everything that is currently broken. And that is why I personally find it so satisfying to read Revelation during the season when we commemorate his birth.

For today I wanted to share a passage from my quiet time that greatly encouraged me. The holidays can be a time of joy, busyness, and celebration, but for many of us they can also highlight circumstances and relationships that we’re still fervently praying for, or are not where we’d hoped they’d be this time last year. This passage, although it is specifically describing the reward awaiting those will give their lives for Christ during the tribulation, is also often used to describe the comfort awaiting all of us in heaven, and I believe there is merit to this application to. I particularly love the description of Jesus as both the Lamb and the Shepherd, which highlights his experiential sharing in our human suffering before he re-ascended his heavenly throne:

“They will never again be hungry or thirsty;
    they will never be scorched by the heat of the sun.
For the Lamb on the throne
    will be their Shepherd.
He will lead them to springs of life-giving water.
    And God will wipe every tear from their eyes.”

Revelation 7:16-17

See you tomorrow!

One of the bright spots I can count on every December is Ivan’s birthday! I’m so grateful we’ve gotten to celebrate quite a few together at this point. He asked me to start praying about dating the day before his 21st birthday, and today he turns 33! If the Lord is pleased to grant us both continued health and safety, then we have many more to look forward to together.

It’s been such a privilege walking alongside Ivan throughout our twenties and now into our thirties. Early in our marriage, almost all of his time and energy was devoted to caring for my physical health, but as God has graciously removed some of those burdens, it’s been exciting to see him growing in areas that were put on hold, or he hadn’t yet explored. This past year, I’ve been grateful to see him grow in leading worship (he’s always been a gifted pianist, but developing in leadership is exciting), as well as joining me in prayer ministry and interceding for others. I’m so grateful that God in His perfect wisdom chose us to journey through life together, and I can’t wait to see how He will continue to work in Ivan’s life in the coming years.

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

– Phil. 1:9-11

I’m grateful to my parents for instilling in me the importance of memorizing Scripture at a young age. They enrolled me in AWANA when I was five, shortly after we moved to California for my dad to attend seminary, and I stayed enrolled until we moved Wisconsin (5th grade). If you’re not familiar with the program, it teaches children to memorize and understand Bible verses in a fun, age-appropriate environment. I can still recite many of the verses I learned during those years, so I am proof that God can use these programs throughout children’s lives to strengthen, encourage, and comfort them.

Later, while I was studying violin in New York, a dear friend and I memorized the entire book of 1 John together. This endeavor reminded us what it meant to walk in the light and be a child of God in an environment where it was very challenging and unpopular to be a Christian. Ivan and I continued this trajectory while we were dating by memorizing Philippians and Colossians.

After my accident, Scripture memory has become A LOT more difficult. I originally thought it was impossible, but over the years the Lord challenged this assumption by revealing how many of the verses I memorized long ago are stored in long-term memory. I’ve realized that Scripture memory is still possible – it just requires significantly more time and repetition. Recently, my discipleship group has been memorizing Psalm 46 at the rate of 1 verse per week. This is the perfect pace for me, and I’m so grateful for how the Lord has been using each verse as timely encouragement.

This post also brings up the question of why memorize Scripture in the first place? My favorite answer is found in Psalm 119:11:

“I have stored up your word in my heart,
    that I might not sin against you.”

Memorizing Scripture makes us more familiar with what God has told us about himself in his Word, which will grow both our capacity for worship and our gratitude for his amazing gift of salvation. It will also empower us in our ongoing battle against sin and temptation. I’m struck by the fact that even Jesus, when he was tempted by Satan in the wilderness, chose to resist by quoting Scripture rather than unleashing divine power. Perhaps that was an example for all of us who are not the Son of God, but are nonetheless called to both imitate his example and trust that he can empathize with us in our weaknesses (1 Peter 2:21; Heb. 4:15).

My prayer is that, whether you’ve been memorizing Scripture for a lifetime or are just starting out, this testimony will encourage you as you continue on your journey.

See you tomorrow!

In our December 3rd post, I mentioned that my 5-year journal helps me track God’s faithfulness in our lives over time. A big, recent demonstration of God’s grace has been my relearning to drive over the past year. (Thank you so much to everyone who has persevered with me in the process, and continues to accommodate our status as a one-car family!)

After commemorating this major transformation Wednesday morning, later that afternoon my skills in both driving and trusting God were significantly tested. As I’ve written previously, due to the brain injury, I’m totally reliant on my GPS to navigate. I’m specifically dependent the audio function because, with my visuospatial deficits, it’s not safe for me to glance from the road to the screen to check for upcoming directions.

But Wednesday, just as I got on the freeway, the audio on my GPS cut off (although my phone continued navigating). All I could think to do at 65 + mph was to exhort Siri, “Turn audio back on!” To which Siri calmly replied, “Your phone is not on mute. There is nothing playing.” This was obviously untrue, but after repeating our exchange several times within a two-minute period, I decided I was going to have to either remember how to get home on my own, start checking the phone screen for directions, or both.

As I’m writing this post, I’ve identified a third solution, which I’m sure many of you have also noticed: I should have pulled over to see what was wrong with the phone. However, part of my residual TBI deficits can prevent me from thinking clearly when I’m upset. Therefore, this most obvious solution did not occur to me at the time. And this is also why I’m so grateful that God enabled me not to panic while I was on the freeway.

Given this bizarre turn of events, it took me significantly longer to get home: 20 minutes turned into 45, and I ended up on a couple of freeways that I definitely should not have. But I was also surprised by how much of the general geography of San Jose I’ve absorbed by osmosis in the last year. And I believe the fact that I remained peaceful until I reached home was God’s supernatural intervention.

When I did get inside and examine my phone, I discovered the audio had cut off because it had switched into night mode/do not disturb. I’ve set my phone to do this from 10 pm – 6 am on weekdays, but there’s not a good objective explanation for why it would switch to this mode on its own around 12:30 pm on a sunny day.

What I can say objectively is that we’ve committed to give God thanks and praise every day until Christmas, and by his grace even this scary incident has transformed into a wonderful reminder of how the Lord is always with me and, when needed, can empower me to do things that usually lie outside my abilities.

See you tomorrow!

This Christmas, Ivan and I are starting each day by listening to a Christmas song on Spotify and reading two Christmas carols from our hymnal. (We’re reading two a day because we’d like to make it through the entire repertoire by Christmas). This has reminded me just how transformative it can be to start the day with praise as well as prayer and Bible reading. It’s also been delightful to juxtapose old favorites with contemporary Christmas songs. We’re making some wonderful discoveries!

I wanted to share this song with you today because I feel it captures a raw, human element of the Nativity scene that can be easy to gloss over. While it’s true that none of us knows for sure what Mary and Joseph’s actual experience was like, I think good art gives us space to highlight both certainties and possibilities for the sake of appreciating truth more deeply.

Based on what Mary and Joseph were told – Jesus was God’s own Son – as well as what they were not told – how they would raise such a miraculous child after his apparently “scandalous” conception – they likely experienced a degree of uncertainty along with awe and wonder at His birth. I think this song is a beautiful depiction of this possibility, and also an encouragement to us today that, aside from Jesus, who was God in human form, the Lord has always used finite humans to accomplish His redemptive work.

See you tomorrow!

Ivan: Nine years ago today, I almost lost my wife. And nine years ago, God showed incredible mercy and grace to me and Grace. It’s still hard for me to capture in words what these past nine years have been like for me—what they’ve felt like. To say that they have been “challenging” seems a gross understatement; and yet, I’ve also never felt more keenly the presence and power of God. He is the Everlasting One, the Creator of all things, who had written down in His book every single day of my and Grace’s lives before we were even born. And He has proven Himself more than faithful, lavishing grace upon grace to us, walking with us every moment of every day. He has taught me so much about Himself, and about who I am before Him—who He created me to be. Through every sorrow and difficulty that these nine years have brought, God has been impressing more and more upon my heart the beauty of this truth: that He is “the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26). There is no greater joy in this life or the next than to walk closely with the God who created you; to worship Him and delight in His goodness, wisdom, and sovereignty. As the prophet Jeremiah famously said:

Grace: As a writer and counselor, I keep many journals simultaneously. One of them is a 5-year journal. It contains 365 pages, with a different prompt for each day of the year, and space on each page to both respond and observe how my responses change over time. I love this journal because it helps me pay attention to how God is working in our lives. As I observe my responses over the past few Decembers – and especially consider how December is not just the month of my initial accident, but has also subsequently been a month where God allows other trials into our lives – I’m impressed by the realization that this is not the only way of describing this season. December has also been the month of some amazing new beginnings and answered prayers. Two years ago, it was the month where I began weaning off seizure medication after we realized I’d been miraculously healed from seizures. Last year, it was the month where I started exploring San Jose after getting my driver’s license back – the fruit of successfully getting off all that seizure medication and waiting the requisite amount of time to demonstrate to doctors and the DMV that my seizures were indeed gone.

So, as we pause to note what has become a sober personal anniversary for our family, it also seems appropriate – and fitting on the heels of yesterday’s post – to note the prayers God has continued answering in our lives, often beginning with small steps of faith. And for these answered prayers we are very grateful.

See you tomorrow!

I like statement pieces, bright colors, and big accomplishments. I do not like small starts, slow builds, and gradual pay-offs. But that is why the past nine years have been very good for my soul. We have rarely done things quickly, and although God has worked in our lives very powerfully at times, most of His work – both physically and relationally – has been slow and steady.

Ivan and I read through the Bible every year, and we recently finished Zechariah. One of the verses that stood out to me was Zechariah 4:10 “For whoever has despised the day of small things shall rejoice, and shall see the plumb line in the hand of Zerubbabel. ‘These seven are the eyes of the Lord, which range through the whole earth.'”

It’s a strange verse, and it comes in the context of chapter 4, where Zechariah is receiving visions encouraging Zerubbabel and the people of Israel to continue rebuilding the temple after they’ve return from captivity in Babylon and are facing opposition and discouragement.

While God was certainly speaking to a particular people in a particular context, I think he also included these words as encouragement for all of us. It’s easy to compare small, apparently insignificant days and events with the glorious “finished products” from our past and forget that these also once began as small things. The Jewish people were tempted to despise the less-than-promising beginnings of their second temple when they remembered Solomon’s temple in all its former glory. But even Solomon’s temple was once a construction site. Ironically, it would be this second temple, the “small thing” that they were tempted to denigrate, in which Jesus would one day, walk, talk, and teach. I think perhaps this is why this verse ends with the seemingly unconnected description of the seven eyes of the Lord. God sees so much more than we can possibly see at any given time. He knows the end from the beginning, not just of our lives, but of all history. And what we may incorrectly downplay as a “small thing,” he may rightly value as a cause for great joy, not just for ourselves but for humanity. I hope this can be encouraging, especially if you are in a season of “small things.”

See you tomorrow!