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Violin Update: Amazing Grace Reprise

Good morning, Blogging Family! It’s been a while since I posted about violin, so I’m excited to share this update with you. Yesterday Ivan and I had the amazing privilege of visiting Classical Conversations, a homeschooling community that meets at Hillside Church. I got to give a 30 min. talk on the history of violin, and also share a little bit about my own violin journey both as a young person and after my accident.

This opportunity was near and dear to my heart since I was homeschooled all the way until college. The kids were such enthusiastic listeners, and made my job easy by asking plenty of creative questions. Such a testimony to their parents’ faithfulness, not just with educating them but also raising them up to know the Lord!

We ended our talk by playing “10,000 Reasons” and “Amazing Grace,” and I wanted to share this clip from “Amazing Grace” with you all. That was one of the pieces I played in my Facebook Live recital last year, but I’m thankful that God has allowed me to keep working on it and add some more notes and rhythms since then.

Thanks as always for your prayers and support!

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Preparing for Easter: the Lord’s Prayer for Us

Good evening, Blogging Family! As we prepare our hearts for Easter, I wanted to share a brief excerpt from our forthcoming book, Hello, God: Seeking the Lord When Words Fall Short. I pray it will encourage you!

***

Mere hours before He would face the abject humiliation of a kangaroo court and the unbridled rage of a rightfully outraged, holy God, Jesus offered specific, personal intercession for you and me. What does He ask for in these final, crucial moments? 

“I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth… I do not ask for these [the disciples] only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” (John 17:15-21; emphasis mine)

As He does in the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus highlights how much we need God’s protection from Satan’s wily schemes. Although Jesus is mere hours away from breaking the power of sin and death, He knows that, until our own deaths or His Second Coming, the remnants of our sin nature will still be vulnerable to temptation and spiritual attack (Romans 7:18-25). 

Next, He emphasizes the centrality of God’s Word in our ongoing spiritual transformation. For His disciples, that would mean preserving Jesus’s teachings in the four Gospels and adding several epistles under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, in addition to continuing to study and apply the Jewish Old Testament. For us, this portion of Jesus’s prayer means reading and applying all sixty-six books of the Bible without favoritism, trusting that every part of God’s Word is useful for “teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). 

It should hardly come as a surprise that the Savior of the world closes His prayer for us with a plea for our unity. Whether or not we’re right with others is an excellent test of whether or not we’re right with God. While only God can truly know the state of our hearts, Scripture is full of passages admonishing us that our faith will be proved by the fruit we bear (James 2:14-17). 

Does it amaze you that Jesus was thinking so specifically about your spiritual protection, ongoing transformation, and Christian witness mere hours before He was stripped naked and felt a lead-tipped whip rip the flesh from His back? It takes my breath away. I hope this reality will embolden you the next time you come before the Lord in prayer. Remember, drawing near to God is a rich journey that will continue until the moment you cross into eternity.  

***

Hello, God: Seeking the Lord When Words Fall Short is coming out from Shepherd Press on May 25th. Stay tuned for more updates coming soon!

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Book Update: Vote for YOUR Favorite Cover!

Good morning, Blogging Family! It’s been a while since my last writing update, so I’m super excited to finally have more news to share about my second book, Hello God: Seeking the Lord When Words Fall Short. As you may remember, it was originally scheduled to be released in 2024, but had to be delayed due to the health of one of our team members.

Praise the Lord, we’re on track for a spring release, and this time around we would love YOUR feedback choosing the cover design. I’d be so grateful if you’d consider voting in the comments below. Plus, voters will be entered to win 1 of 3 free copies of Hello, God!

We’ll also be rolling out some sneak previews of select chapters and illustrations in the coming weeks, so stay tuned for more exciting updates. Thanks so much, as always, for your prayers and support!

Posted on by graceutomo12

The Battle to Believe

“For God gave us a spirit, not of fear, but of power and love and self-control.”

The verse’s assurance knocked the breath out of my shivering, twelve-year-old body that Sunday morning. Suddenly everything –  the chilly sanctuary with its stiff wooden pews and the filigreed pocket Bible that was the light of my preteen eyes – vanished in the blazing glory of the Apostle Paul’s declaration. 

Can this really be true? I faltered in the face of my hitherto unshakable fears: How would I score at my next violin competition? Would “normal” kids ever accept me since I was homeschooled and loved literature and classical music? What’s more, my fears were founded on reality. I could perform poorly, and I’d experienced my share of social rejection. But God, through the Apostle Paul, was promising me power, and love, and self-control in spite of my experiences. And God never lied. How would I respond? 

That morning was the first time I remember encountering 2 Timothy 1:7, but since then God has reminded me of that promise at crucial moments when I’ve felt like I was about to be overpowered by fear. Perhaps my preteen troubles seem trivial to us adults, but we can all remember how the hardships we experienced as young people seemed like the pinnacle of suffering. It’s only with additional life experience (and cognitive and emotional development), that we gain perspective to evaluate those circumstances in a more holistic light.  

The same is true of our suffering as adults. Perhaps an illness, or lay-off, or relational fracture that seemed almost beyond our capacity to endure five years ago looks different now that we have seen God sustain us over time and discerned what he was teaching. Each time he brings us through a trial, it should increase our confidence in his faithfulness for the next trial. 

I say “should” because in my own life, I’ve discovered this process is not always linear. Severe physical suffering has been a personal theme for many years, and I’ve been blessed that God had helped me to cling to what I know to be true of him and his Word during those times. But as God graciously removed the suffering I endured from uncontrolled seizures, I’ve been confronted with some relational disconnects that the seizures camouflaged. And I’ve discovered that, because of my brain injury, painful emotions can shake me much more deeply than physical suffering ever did. Although my verbal skills are high, my rational and emotional processing can become disconnected when I perceive something’s wrong or there’s actual conflict. The result is that even though I know certain things are true about God, his Word, or even a particular person, it can be extremely hard to overcome the hurt once it’s imprinted. 

I share this struggle because, while not everyone has a brain injury, I believe we all find ourselves in similar situations at some point. There will come a time for all of us when what we know about God and his Word – and possibly the person in front of us – doesn’t line up with how we’re feeling. And we’ll discover our feelings seem impossible to overcome. Like my twelve-year-old self on that Sunday morning, we’ll be confronted with the question, “Now what?” My preteen fears didn’t vanish overnight. I memorized 2 Timothy 1:7 and repeated it over and over again before I saw measurable change. I’m still in the trenches of a daily battle to believe that God’s Spirit of “power, love, and self-control” is fully available to me every moment of every day, no matter what the day may hold. The key is to keep asking God for his power, trusting that he never gets tired of my requests (James 1:5), and that he delights to give good things to all who ask him (Luke 11:13). That is who he always has been, and that is who he always will be. Will you join me? 

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God’s Perennial Power: Reflections from 10,000 Feet

When we moved to Northern California in 2017, I discovered a phenomenon known as “Ski Week.” Most of the schools in our area take a week-long break in February. This struck me as humorous for two reasons: 1) There is no snow in our area on which to ski, and 2) students still receive a full Spring Break around Easter. But when I attempted to investigate the rationale behind Ski Week, the best answer I received was, “It gives them a chance to go find snow in case they want to ski!” This didn’t entirely satisfy my inquiring mind. Nevertheless, as the wife of a professional educator, I remain grateful for the break.

This year we took advantage of Ski Week to visit my family in Georgia. (The picture for this post was taken on the Isle of Hope in Savannah.) It was during our southward migration that we also fulfilled the stated purpose of Ski Week and found snow – albeit during a three hour layover in Chicago. I’m no stranger to snow, having also lived in Wisconsin and Upstate New York, but Ivan has remained firmly rooted to California ever since moving to the U.S. Given this discrepancy, I seized the moment when I glanced up from lunch in the Midway food court and glimpsed some of the largest, fluffiest, whitest, snowflakes I have ever seen pirouetting across the plexiglass windows. 

“Oh my goodness, sayang!” I often use Ivan’s Indonesian nickname when I want his attention. He was engrossed in highlights from some English Premier League soccer games he’d missed during our first flight.

“You’ve got to check out this snow! It’s really good!” He looked up, and I began warmly contrasting the fairytale flakes that we were currently observing with the tiny, needle-like, flecks of ice that I’d often experienced in real snow storms. Ivan’s polite nods brought my lecture to a rapid close, however. I realized he would be better served savoring this moment for himself, without my comparisons.

On our return journey to California, I encountered the antithesis of the winter wonderland we’d observed in Chicago. Halfway through our second flight, I was startled to observe an apocalyptic wasteland. The ground was a lifeless, ash color, devoid of plants or people, and scored by ditches running in uneven geometries. A web-like mass deeply etched into the earth suggested what might have once been a delta. Overcome by the hopelessness of the terrain, I turned to Ivan.

“Hey – any idea where we are right now?” 

He flipped from the movie he was watching to his flight tracker.

“Uh – it says Nebraska. Why?”

I tapped on my window. “It just looks so – desolate.”

Nebraska. I remembered my sister mentioning that she’d heard from a family friend that Wisconsin had gotten remarkably little snow this year, although the temperatures were still frigid. I’d always imagined states like Nebraska getting even more snow than Wisconsin. What would it be like to a endure a harsh winter without the compensation of terrain carpeted in white? Now, flying over Nebraska, the prospect was more dismal than I’d imagined.

But as my thoughts spiraled further south, I realized that even the harshest winter blossoms into spring.  New growth and sunshine breathe life into the most frozen tundra  – and desperate human heart. Perhaps that’s why God uses the weather to illustrate the irresistible power of his Word in Isaiah 55:10-12:

“The rain and the snow come down from the

heavens

and stay on the ground to water the earth.

They cause the rain to grow, 

producing seed for the farmer

and bread for the hungry.

It is the same with my word.

I send it out, and it always produces fruit.

It will accomplish all I want it to,

and it will prosper everywhere I send it.”

Depending on your location, Spring could already be reaching irrepressible fingers into your mornings, or it could still be several weeks away. Perhaps you’ve been going through a trial for a long time and can no longer imagine life without it. Perhaps you’re starting to see God work, but wondering whether you can hold out until he brings his work to completion. Or you may be enjoying a season of peace and prosperity. While we have a calendar that gives us general markers for winter and spring, we don’t have that same insight into the spiritual seasons of our lives, or why God works at different times and ways in our lives compared to the lives of those around us. 

Whatever your current experience may be, we can embrace the illustration that God gives in Isaiah 55 as reassurance that he is always working. He will accomplish exactly what he intends, exactly when he intends to. For our part, we can demonstrate our faith by continuing to enter his presence in prayer, and presenting our hearts to the shaping power of his Word. I also find hope when I consider the extended implications of what God’s “word” can mean. Most often we think of the 66 books of the Bible, but God also created the universe by his spoken word. What’s more, Jesus is sometimes referred to as the “Word” (John 1:1,14; Col. 1:19, 2:19). No matter what kind of spiritual season you’re in, I hope we can take courage together that God is working, not just through the power of his Scriptures, but also through divine intervention and the ongoing intercession of our Savior and perfect Advocate, Jesus Christ.

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On the Road Again: Embracing Reality

The first  few minutes are flawless. Traffic flows seamlessly on either side of our white Hyundai. The sun dances playfully off the windshield. Then, in a millisecond, everything changes. Maniacal drivers whip past me at the speed of light. My pulse charges and my breathing shallows.  Blood roars like an ocean in both ears. 

“I can’t do this. I have to get out of here – right now!”

But there’s no exit from a vehicle hurtling down the highway at 65 mph. My life – our lives – are in my shaky, sweaty hands. One of which can’t feel the steering wheel. All I can do is force myself to keep breathing and pray that the panic passes quickly.  

When Ivan and I started my driving journey a few months ago, we decided to focus on the essentials and delay freeway driving until I got my license. Looking back, this was the most efficient strategy given Ivan’s busy work schedule and limited amount of time to help me practice. But now that I’m a licensed driver again, we find ourselves caught in an unusual tension between “already” and “not yet.” 

It’s amazing that I can drive at all. If you’d suggested my hopping in the driver’s seat this time last year, we would have written it off as inconceivable due to both my history of seizures and residual neurological deficits. Over the past year, God’s graciously removed the barriers that once made driving out of the question, but the skill remains more mentally and physically draining for me than the average person. 

Although it’s not readily apparent to observers, neurocognitive testing has shown that my brain works about 60% harder to process input and produce output than a healthy brain. We’d previously discovered that driving to and from an activity added another layer of fatigue for which I needed to account. And, as I’ve experienced since venturing onto the freeway with Ivan in recent weeks, driving at high speeds seems to exacerbate that deficit. The good news is that, with patience and practice, we believe I’ll be able to adjust to this, just like I learned to steer the car without feeling my left hand and also increased my mental stamina by driving in town whenever possible.

In the meantime, this unanticipated challenge is presenting an opportunity to be thankful for what the Lord has already given, and to continue waiting on his timing. I’d imagined a seamless transition from getting my license to zipping across the Bay Area at will. Awkward conversations that begin, “Well, I do drive now, but I’m still not comfortable on freeways …could we choose a different location?” never crossed my mind. This is challenging me to be honest about my weakness, and trust that God will use this inconvenience in both my life and the lives of those I’d like to meet with, although it’s humbling to keep asking for accommodations after I’d anticipated being completely independent. On the flip side, this discomfort is also good motivation for Ivan and me to keep practicing freeway driving, in the hopes that one day I will be able to navigate safely on my own.

Re-learning to drive on the freeway as an adult is unusual, but the fear of being honest, or falling short in some other way, are struggles we all face. So is discovering that a much-anticipated blessing also contains hidden snags. While it’s easy to focus our energy on engineering our ideal outcome, the truth is that God sovereignly orchestrates the exact circumstances that are best for our good and his glory. Perhaps we would not depend on God as much if life were more comfortable. Perhaps there’s sin in our hearts he’s using difficult circumstances to reveal. Or perhaps he’s simply employing a season of testing or waiting to reveal himself in ways we could not experience otherwise. 

For me, I’ve been convicted of my tendency to forget about past blessings (like being able to drive at all) and fixate on what I wish were different now. I’ve also noticed how often I worry what other people think of me and seek to justify myself. Finally, I see how much I need to grow in contentment and embrace the season God has me in currently. As much as God’s graciously given back over the past eighteen months, my body continues to function at a level that is different from most people’s. However, that shouldn’t be a reason for frustration. God can continue working in my life as he sees fit, but I want to trust that whatever he chooses to do will be the very best for my good and his glory.  

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From Paris to the Palisades: God’s Purpose for Our Limits

Ivan and I were extremely blessed to close 2024 in Paris as a delayed honeymoon/ninth anniversary. Since we got married while Ivan was in grad school and I was working full-time, our wedding fell on December 30th, 2015, and we returned to work and school on January 2nd. At the time, we were extremely grateful to be married, and didn’t mind postponing our honeymoon for a few months until our finances and free time were more conducive. Then my accident happened, and our married life took a wildly different turn from anything we could’ve imagined. But a few months ago, we realized we’d accumulated enough travel points from the international trips Ivan’s led for work to cover a short anniversary trip to Paris and make up for the honeymoon we never took. 

While we were in Paris, I imagined coming home and writing about the cultural and historical tours we took, or the food we sampled, or possibly reprise an old post about attempting to speak French. Daily metro trips also offered a wellspring of amusement and frustration. But when we got back to the States, we were confronted almost immediately with news of fires cropping up across Southern California. Living in a fire-prone region ourselves, I assumed that they’d be contained quickly and life would go on. This has not been the case. What at first looked like “just more fires” have now become the most destructive wildfires in Southern California’s history. 

There is a connection that strikes me as I consider the apparent contradiction between the centuries of art and architecture that we admired in France and the devastation that continues to occur relatively close to home. That connection is the human quest for control. Whether we were roaming the historic Marais district in Paris, admiring 18th century palaces and gardens tucked nonchalantly among 21st century boutiques, or visiting the baroque Vaux-le-Vicomte chateau that was so opulent that Louis XIV banished its owner and built Versailles as the ultimate putdown, our guides highlighted their ancestors’ quest to project power and control through highly-stylized gardens, extravagant architecture, and artistic perfection. 

We might smile patronizingly at the notion that an expertly-pruned hedge proved man’s mastery over nature, but is that so very different from our twenty-first century obsession with science and technology? We have made many stunning scientific advancements, but countless diseases remain uncured, and natural disasters like Hurricane Helene and the SoCal fires remind us of our human finitude. Even if we have the technology to predict an oncoming storm, we are relatively powerless in the face of its fury. And although we live in a fire-prone state and are aware of the protocols that should be in place to keep us safe, an extended period of worst-case scenarios is highlighting both human error and the limits which are inherent in even the best manmade plans.

So what do we make of our limits, as Christ-followers? Do we give up on art, architecture, and science as meaningless in the face of tragedy? How do we answer the question of why God allows us to make so much progress in certain areas, while remaining relatively powerless in others? More practically, how to we respond wisely in the midst of a crisis that is ongoing? 

For me, answering the first question involves examining why I’m engaging in a particular activity. For the French culture we were observing, they used both art and science to “prove” they could control nature. Many people in our post-Christian culture also pursue their goals for self-centered reasons. However, if I’m reading, or writing, or playing music because I believe that will please God, or help me know him more, or serve those around me, then that’s a fruitful way to spend my time.

As to why God allows us to make progress in certain areas of science and technology while being limited in others – I believe he does this to remind us of our humanity. This is true whether or not we openly acknowledge him as creator. The fact that some riddles of our universe remain unsolvable, and that man, no matter how much he prepares, will always face annihilation by an avalanche, earthquake, or fire, confronts even the most resistant of us with the uncomfortable truth that we are not our own masters. On the positive side, God, in his infinite wisdom, also gave us dominion over the earth and made us his stewards. Although he periodically uses nature to keep us from exalting ourselves too high – that does not mean he wants us to give up on our mission, especially as believers.

Finally, how do we respond wisely in the face of yet more bad news like the fires in Southern California? It’s tempting to keep scrolling if the tragedy is not in our part of the country or world. But that is not how God calls us to respond as Christ-followers. The very least – and also the very most –  we can do is pray for God’s intervention. I’m confident that I’m preaching to the choir here, based on all the prayers that Ivan and I have been blessed to receive over the years. The next practical step is to see if your church is doing anything to help. I recommend starting with the church, because ideally the people in the affected area would hear the gospel as well as receive practical aid. Also, your church may be aware of churches in the affected area who need help or encouragement, and could provide targeted information about how to serve those brothers and sisters. Finally, if you’ve checked out your church or churches in your area, there are also many secular humanitarian organizations that provide avenues for donating and volunteering. Not everyone can help with every crisis, but the important part is that we stay fervent in prayer, ask the Lord for soft hearts, and are willing to serve however he leads.

Ivan and I realize that some of our Blogging Family are located in Southern California, and we grieve for you and with you. We pray for God’s protection over you spiritually, emotionally, and physically during this time, including protection of property and restoration of what’s been lost. He is able to grant the peace that transcends understanding, and to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think. 

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Immanuel, Revisited

“O Come, O Come, Immanuel,” is one of my favorite Christmas carols. A musical child, I was first arrested by its haunting melody.  Later, its plaintive lyrics resonated with my teenage contemplations. As an adult, I’m even more captivated by these elements and also heartened by the final stanza’s call for Christ to return and right the world once and for all.

But as I consider what “Immanuel” – God with us  – has meant to me over the years, I’ve also come to realize Mary and Joseph’s experience of God’s presence was likely different from what we imagine.  

The gospel of Luke tells us that Joseph and Mary traveled to Bethlehem to comply with a Roman census, where Mary gave birth to Jesus in a stable because the inns were full. While this chain of events fulfilled the prophecy that Jesus would be born in Bethlehem, there’s no prophecy stating Jesus had to be born in a stable. 

Mary got an angelic message announcing she would bear the Savior of the world, and Joseph got a dream reassuring him that Mary’s child was the Son of God, not the result of her infidelity. But neither of them got additional information on the specifics surrounding Jesus’ birth. Instead, as Mary’s time approached, they found themselves faced with a 90-mile trek teeming with wild animals and robbers, not to mention the possibility that Mary could give birth along the way. 

Furthermore, have you considered the social pressure they must have endured throughout Mary’s pregnancy? Unwed motherhood carried the death penalty in biblical times. Although Mary and Joseph could infer from their angelic messages that Mary’s life would be spared, her survival wouldn’t have protected them from severe stigma.

Giving birth in a stable after an arduous, 90-mile trek and nine months of false accusations (or worse), must have felt like rock bottom for Joseph and Mary, even if they’d been told their baby would be the savior of the world. It’s also interesting that as far as we know they never saw the “heavenly hosts” that appeared to the shepherds, or the star that guided the wise men. Nevertheless, I’m sure that visitors who joyfully acknowledged their baby’s identity were a welcome relief.

But it’s also relevant to note that the historical story of Joseph, Mary, and Jesus doesn’t end at the manger. The gospel of Matthew tells us that the wise men alerted King Herod to the fact that there was potentially a new “king of the Jews” on the scene, and he ruthlessly murdered all baby boys under 2 years old in Bethlehem.

But what did the massacre mean for Joseph and Mary? Although Matthew tells us an angel alerted Joseph ahead of time, and the family escaped to Egypt, have you imagined what their exile must have been like? They’d just endured the stigma of an unwed pregnancy and given birth in horrific conditions, only to receive unlooked-for encouragement through supernatural intervention. Just when things were starting to look brighter, Mary and Joseph found themselves fleeing to a foreign country – and not just any foreign country, but one with almost a thousand years of animosity toward their own. A place where no one spoke their language, let alone worshiped their God. Mentioning their son was going to be the Savior of the world was off the table.

My point in highlighting these aspects of the Christmas story is not to make things sound unduly negative, but to suggest that our concept of what “God with us” means could be broadened. Mary and Joseph had at least four direct supernatural encounters (the visit from the angel Gabriel and Joseph’s three dreams), and the incredible privilege of watching Jesus grow from infancy to adulthood. But these supernatural events occurred relatively close together, and we know little about the rest of their lives.

In my own life, although God has worked supernaturally twice, I still deal with physical limitations and relational stressors that have made recent months challenging. When we’re discouraged, it’s easy to focus on the high points – whether the ones we read about in Scripture, or see around us – and compare our assumptions of God’s presence in others’ lives with our experience of God’s presence in our own. The truth is God is always with us, whether we feel him there or not. 

Luke 2:19 tells us, “But Mary kept all these things in her heart, and she thought about them often.”

Most likely, Jesus looked and acted like a regular baby, at least initially. Raising her first child in a hostile foreign country couldn’t have been easy.  But Mary had seen God’s power displayed unmistakably, and she was committed to renewing her mind. 

Whatever this season holds for each of us, I pray we will make a practice of calling to mind what God has already done, both as revealed in Scripture as well as in our own lives and the lives of those we love.

O come, desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease
And be Thyself our King of peace

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel

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Where the Pressure Lies: Reflections on 8 Years

Today marks the eighth anniversary of my accident. Comparing December 3rd, 2024, with December 3rd, 2023, I can honestly say that God has radically transformed my life. Today, I no longer have seizures or experience severe spiritual warfare. I recently got my driver’s license. I continue re-learning to play violin. Although I still face severe migraines and other neurological deficits, my quality of life looks drastically different from what I could have imagined 365 days ago. But these divine interventions also beg the question, What about the suffering and uncertainty we endured during those first seven years?

From a human perspective, it would have seemed more humane for God to heal my seizures immediately, or at least shortly after they started, rather than allowing us to agonize over possible causes and cures for so long. Not to mention the social isolation we experienced due to my severe light sensitivity. Since I’m not God, I can’t say with certainty why he chose to act the way he did, but I have a few guesses: 

  1. Exhausting our human medical options forced us to look to God alone for our “daily bread,” whether that took the form of healing, partial improvement, or just the grace to endure joyfully no matter our outward circumstances. 
  2. Our intense suffering increased our empathy for others’ hidden hurts. Seizures are invisible unless they’re happening, and brain injury deficits and stroke fatigue are even more subtle. They may not manifest until hours after I’ve been pushed past my limits. Depending on how far I’ve been stretched, I may have to spend a day or two recovering. These “invisible” challenges increased my awareness that others might also be experiencing secret pain, whether physical or emotional.
  3. Those years of suffering drove home that God is both sovereign and kind, no matter how he chose to work in our lives. While we knew he could end our suffering at any time, the most straightforward path seemed like a medical intervention. However, we also knew a couple of people with seizures who were unable to find a medical solution, and eventually decided this must be God’s plan for us as well. But no matter how our earthly lives unfolded, we were still certain that God was good, kind, and for us because he’d already provided eternal salvation through Jesus’ death on the cross. The Apostle Paul writes:  

“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?  Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself.” ~ Romans 8:31-33

The promise that God will give us “everything else” means something unique for every person’s story.  In our case, we assumed “everything else” meant spiritual blessings because we’d exhausted all our medical resources. But God was only asking us to wait. It was essential for us to run out of human options so there would be no shadow of a doubt about Who accomplished my healings.

So what does the promise God will give us “everything else” mean for those who’ve lost a loved one, or are facing unemployment, or have endured severe disabilities for decades? God’s thoughts and ways are infinitely higher than ours, and if he is allowing pain in our lives, it is because there is a loving purpose that our pain is somehow his perfect tool to accomplish. If God didn’t hesitate to crush his precious Son on our behalf, then there is no good thing he would withhold from us – if that thing is what we truly need. And if he does withhold it, then there is something about our desire that he sees but we cannot.

This is the hardest lesson that Ivan and I have had to learn over the years. If I’m being honest, I haven’t learned it yet. But I hope I learn it a little bit more with each trial God allows. This quote from Hudson Taylor, a 19th century missionary to China, continues to encourage me in moments of pain and weakness:

“It does not matter how great the pressure is. What really matters is where the pressure lies – whether it comes between you and God, or whether it presses it you nearer His heart.”

Thank you all so much for praying for us and walking with us for the past eight years! We’re so grateful for your love and support, and can’t wait to see what the next year will bring!

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“Hello, God:” Holiday Update

Happy Thanksgiving, Blogging Family! As you may remember, we’d hoped to release Hello, God, our 31-day devotional on prayer, during the holidays. However, one of our team members has been experiencing some health issues, and we’ve decided to delay the book’s release until Spring 2025. I alluded to this change in an earlier post, but at that point we didn’t have an updated timeline. We’ll continue keeping you up to speed as we nail down more specific dates. I’m also hoping to share sneak peaks of chapters and illustrations as we get closer.

In the meantime, thank you so much for your patience, prayers and support! We’re excited to see what the Lord will do in the New Year!

Need to catch up on the story behind Hello, God? Explore the book’s unusual inspiration here. And check out our more recent co-author update here.