Posted on by graceutomo12 · 13 Comments

A Licensed Driver!

“Please – I just got my picture taken three minutes ago. Does that mean we can leave and my driver’s license will come in the mail?”

The DMV manager – no doubt frazzled by an onslaught of similar questions – shrugged.

“I don’t know what to tell you. Computers are down statewide. You could hang around to see if the system comes back up, or you could come back tomorrow and restart your application.” She spun on her heel abruptly to signal our conversation was over. 

Her words threatened to extinguish my sputtering hopes like a bucket of ice water. My original road test – scheduled for October 14th – had been canceled after I arrived due to an administrative mix up. At the time, we’d been told it would be several weeks before we could expect my case to be reviewed, or the test rescheduled. 

But God intervened, and last Monday we received a nondescript envelope in the mail  from the DMV. This puzzled me since we’d been told to expect a phone call to discuss my current medical status in greater detail. The envelope’s contents were even more puzzling: All it contained was a form letter stating I could renew my driver’s license at any DMV field office. This seemed like another administrative error since there was no mention of a road test; however, when I called the next morning to verify, the voice on the phone assured me that the letter was correct. My medical case had been been closed. We’ll never know what changed between the test being canceled on October 14th and then waived last week, other than God wanted to teach us extra patience – and give me extra time practicing my driving skills. And I practice for tests very seriously! 

In God’s good timing, Ivan was available to take me to the DMV last Wednesday afternoon. This is significant because Ivan’s work schedule has evolved a lot this semester. School technically ends at 3 pm, but between private piano students and administrative duties, he often works late or returns to school at night. Hence my dismay at the DMV manager’s suggestion that we restart my license application on a different day. It could be weeks before we had another open afternoon.

Oh Lord, I prayed. We’ve waited so long. First there was the road test cancellation, and then you intervened to take that off the table. A statewide system shut-down is nothing to you, Lord. Please, if there is some way, any way, please let us leave with my license today. 

The manager told the disgruntled crowd that everyone waiting for driver’s licenses should go home and come back a different day. They’d keep processing car registrations, but licenses were over. I kept praying. The clerk who had been processing our application when the system crashed quietly told us not to leave. Ivan and I ambled back to the rows of blue plastic chairs and sat down dejectedly as half the crowd left and the other half selected fresh numbers and reformed a line. 

“What do you think we’re waiting on?” I asked. 

Ivan shrugged.

“She didn’t give us a number.”

“Maybe she’ll call us if the system comes back,” he replied. 

We sat in silence as the clock ticked inexorably toward 5 pm. The car registration line moved quickly, but new driver’s-license walk-ins continued to be turned away. 

Please, Lord, I prayed. All we need is one computer to come back. I realized God could have allowed this bizarre turn of events to teach Ivan and me even more patience, but it all seemed so strange. We hadn’t anticipated getting my license for several more weeks: why would the Lord surprise us with hope so unexpectedly, only to have things not work out at the last moment?

“Okay, let’s go check again.” Ivan’s voice interrupted my musings. I looked up at the clock. The office would close in a few minutes. We shuffled back to the station that had been processing our application.

“Still down,” the clerk shook her head and sighed. My heart plummeted. Then – “Hold on a sec.” She gestured for my paperwork and disappeared. Ivan and I exchanged confused glances. I no longer knew what I was praying for if the system was still down, but I kept praying. The woman’s absence felt even longer than the time we’d languished in the waiting area. 

When she reappeared, she was holding a thin slip of paper. 

“There was one computer still running in the back.” The clerk smiled faintly. “Here’s your license.” She passed the slip under the glass partition. 

“Oh! Thank you! Thank you so much!” I beamed as I snatched my prize.

The lady couldn’t have imagined the all the feelings she triggered by double-checking: Seven years of relying on others anytime I needed to go anywhere, followed by the nerve-wracking process of reacclimating to the road, followed by a canceled road test and the uncertainty of when I could actually get my license. Perhaps, for her, checking was simply the “nice” thing to do. For me, it was the beginning of a whole new world. 

Both Ivan and I are overwhelmed with gratitude to God for this new chapter in our journey. Our suspenseful DMV visit reminded us that my driving again has never been guaranteed, or even expected. It’s a gift, and one that God can give and take back at any time, whether or not it makes sense to us in the moment. We’re very grateful that in God’s love and mercy, he’s decided that my driving again will bring him glory. But that, like all the healing he’s done in my life, is an undeserved blessing. We pray he will help me to be a good steward of it for as long as he allows me to be on the road. 

***

P.S. Here’s an in-depth post about some of the stroke and TBI deficits I still have to manage while driving, and here’s a more light-hearted post about what it was like to actually get reacclimatized to the road. Thanks so much for walking with us!

Posted on by graceutomo12 · 3 Comments

Worshiping While Waiting

I avoid hikes due to the hardware in my legs, but this is a throwback from a rare visit to the Redwoods – itself an answer to many prayers!

Happy November 1st, Blogging Family! Many of us are anticipating (and hopefully praying about) Election Day. The course our country charts this Tuesday will influence not just daily life, but also global events for at least the next four years.

But whether or not you consider yourself political, I’m confident we all have cherished personal prayer requests we carry to the Lord regularly. That was one of the main reasons we started this blog in 2017 – to ask for prayer during my initial recovery. 

My gratitude for your faithful prayers, as well as a question I received after my recent testimony video, is why I’d like to share a brief devotional on Matthew 15:21-28. The question was, “What if God hadn’t granted that prayer for deliverance? Would that have changed your outlook on what you were experiencing or how you addressed it?” 

The short answer is, “No.” We are commanded to keep praying and trusting what God has said about our trials and how to respond to them, whether or not he chooses to take visible action on a given day. But better than my short answer is this historical account from Matthew, which has encouraged me throughout years of waiting on the Lord, both for physical healing and spiritual growth. It continues to refresh me as I come into his presence each day, and I pray it will encourage you as well.

“Then Jesus left Galilee and went north to the region of Tyre and Sidon.  A Gentile woman who lived there came to him, pleading, ‘Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! For my daughter is possessed by a demon that torments her severely.’

But Jesus gave her no reply, not even a word. Then his disciples urged him to send her away. ‘Tell her to go away,’ they said. ‘She is bothering us with all her begging.’

Then Jesus said to the woman, ‘I was sent only to help God’s lost sheep—the people of Israel.’

 But she came and worshiped him, pleading again, ‘Lord, help me!’

Jesus responded, ‘It isn’t right to take food from the children and throw it to the dogs.’

She replied, ‘That’s true, Lord, but even dogs are allowed to eat the scraps that fall beneath their masters’ table.’

‘Dear woman,’ Jesus said to her, ‘your faith is great. Your request is granted.’ And her daughter was instantly healed.

I could write extensively about this passage, but for today there are three points I’d like to highlight. 

  1. We discover what likely drew the Gentile woman to Jesus in Matt. 14:35-36. These verses tell us that Jesus was healing all the sick who were brought to him. Even those who merely touched the hem of his robe were healed! No rejections. No “too busy’s,” “too tired’s,”  or “come back later’s.” And these healings didn’t even require a direct touch, or Jesus’ full attention. Then, Jesus heads to Gentile country. Why would he go there if he weren’t planning to do something similar for the Gentiles? But when this lady shows up, she finds something totally different from everything she’s heard. Jesus not only won’t help her. He won’t even answer her. 
  2. We often get frustrated when we pray and God doesn’t respond immediately. But how would we react if Jesus were standing a few feet away from us and unmistakably ignoring us? Especially when we had proof he’d healed hundreds – if not thousands – of others in similar predicaments? Talk about reasons for a “faith crisis.” But the Gentile woman doesn’t get angry, or even impatient. She also doesn’t stop asking. Instead, she pauses to worship.
  3. There was nothing praiseworthy about what this lady was experiencing. Jesus’ behavior must have seemed like it contradicted everything she’d heard about him. And the disciples weren’t being very helpful either. So why was she worshiping? By the title she uses to address Jesus, it seems that she’d already believed he was the Messiah before asking for healing. Her decision to stop and praise expresses trust in what she knows is true about him, regardless of how he responds.

When we think carefully about Jesus’ final response, we realize that he wasn’t being callous or capricious. His apparent indifference actually served two good purposes. Not only did it briefly test the Gentile woman, but it also elicited a faith-filled response that stood in sharp contrast to the skeptical Jews who were constantly demanding more miracles as proof of his Messiah-ship.

For those of us who are waiting on the Lord to answer our own cherished requests, the lady’s courageous petition-worship-petition example also functions as both challenge and encouragement: Is our faith contingent on our circumstances? Can we worship while we wait? 

Posted on by graceutomo12 · 1 Comment

The Camel and the Needle

Good morning, Blogging Family! I recently received news that, due to a variety of unforeseen circumstances, including Hurricane Helene and the health of one of our production team members, the release of Hello God has been delayed from Holiday 2024 until 2025. I don’t have an exact date yet, but I will let you know as soon as I do. 

In the meantime, I wanted to share this short devotional that I wrote last year when I was drafting some sample chapters as a proposal for what would become Hello, God. The book has evolved a lot since then, in both content and depth.  However, I think the heart of learning to talk to God honestly has remained the same, and that includes trusting him to work what is impossible for sinful humans. I hope this short devo will encourage you to keep praying and hoping, whether you’re asking God for someone’s salvation (as is the explicit point of the parable) or something else.

***

“This amazed them. But Jesus said again, ‘Dear children, it is very hard to enter the Kingdom of God. In fact, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!’

The disciples were astounded. “Then who in the world can be saved?” they asked.

Jesus looked at them intently and said, ‘Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God.’” ~ Mark 10:24-27

Have you ever seen a camel? Maybe you met one at the zoo when when you were little.  Maybe, if you met your camel with the nice kind of adult at the right sort of zoo, you got to feed it or even sit on its back.  If so, I’ll  wager you made a variety of discoveries about your quirky new friend. Maybe you expected her shaggy hump to stand firmly in place when you leaned on it. Perhaps you quickly discovered it’s actually a jelly-like mass of water and fat!  Did you expect him to amble evenly around his paddock like the ponies in the pony ride? The camel sways side-to-side in a  jolty, skating motion, you may have learned as you hung on for dear life.

If these experiences don’t ring any bells for you, I recommend looking up a video or these weird, magnificent animals in motion. Take in the originality and beauty of this single specimen of God’s creation.

On the other hand, most of us know our way around needles. Whether it was a parent mending ripped jeans in elementary school, our sister’s obsession with cross-stitching in junior high, or even just the ever-evolving immunization recommendations, I’ll bet almost all of us have felt that quick sting answered by a teardrop of blood more times than we would like.

Can you think of any two things more opposite than a shaggy, side-stepping camel, and a platinum-titanium, extra-fine point embroidery needle? Correction: the eye of that extra-fine point embroidery needle. This eye is a miniscule hole in one end of the needle, barely visible to an average human eye, just big enough to pass one tiny end of silk thread back and forth through whichever delicate fiber we’re embroidering.  This is as close to fairy handiwork as you’ll get in real life. 

Now, close your eyes and imagine that camel you petted or rode as a kid, or just watched on YouTube, standing in the middle of a scorching desert. It’s over  120*  F and the camel will die if it doesn’t get a drink in the next five minutes.  There’s a spring of the purest water bubbling up only a few yards away, and the only thing separating the camel from the water is a tiny embroidery needle lying on the sand between them. The needle’s so tiny that you didn’t even see it at first! 

Jesus says the only way for that camel to pass to reach the life-giving water is by  kneeling down and squeezing itself through the eye of the embroidery needle. No short cuts, shrinking potions, or flat-out cheating by stepping over the needle. Does your camel make it to the other side? Why or why not?

USE IT OR LOSE IT:

  1. What is Jesus’ point to his disciples about salvation? About prayer in general?
  2. At first glance this parable seems depressing. How could Jesus also have meant it as an encouragement?
  3. Do you have an “impossible” prayer request in your life right now? What about it makes you think it’s “impossible”?
  4. How do you think God wants you to pray about it differently after reading today’s devo?