Thursday afternoon was my second orthopedic follow-up after my initial surgeries in December, and I was so excited…SO excited! So far I haven’t been allowed to put any weight on my legs due to the nature and severity of the injuries, but I was sure (for the record, my physical therapist was sure too!)that Thursday I would get the green light to begin putting weight on my legs, and thus begin the long but exciting road to learning how to walk again. I actually wasn’t even nervous for the appointment because I was so confident I knew how things would turn out….
My PA (physician assistant) pulled up the x rays that we had taken at the beginning of the appointment and showed them to us. He smiled and said “So far it looks like you’re healing well..” (I smiled back and began an internal happy dance in my head) “…so I think we can give it one more month and then you can begin to put weight on your legs.” (My internal happy dance ended abruptly). I managed a neutral “Oh, OK,” trying not to look super crestfallen. At this point I couldn’t think of anything else to add, so I was glad when my mom thought to ask what the projected time was for me to learn how to walk. I think we were all looking for a positive spark at this point. Weight bearing to walking couldn’t be that hard, right? “Six months to a year to learn how to walk, and one to two years to be able to walk well.” I don’t know if Mom or Ivan had been doing an internal happy dance at any time during this appointment, but if they were, I’m pretty sure those had ended by this point, too. They asked the PA a few more questions, and then we headed home, pondering what just happened..
I don’t think I’ve completely made peace with that news, and we certainly haven’t figured out what our lives will look like for the next year, but I keep being reminded of my favorite Bible story: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. It’s too long to share here, but the short version is that the king of Babylon threatened to throw them into a fiery furnace because they refused to worship him instead of God. And their response to him is unbelievable:
“If the God we serve exists,then He can rescue us from the furnace of blazing fire, and He can rescue us from the power of you, the king. But even if He does not rescue us,we want you as king to know that we will not serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up.”
Their response is where I’m at right now. I know that God is totally able to heal me… and I really believe that He will, and that I’ll get better and learn to walk, and walk well, one day. But even if He doesn’t, or it takes longer, or doesn’t turn out as well as I’d hoped… God is still God, and He’s absolutely still good.
Also, God did actually rescue the three men from the king, just so you’re not worried 🙂
10 thoughts on “But Even If Not…”
Thank you, Grace, for being such a great example to us of how to trust God in such a situation! We often think we’re going to glorify God with some amazing accomplishment, but you are reminding us that we glorify God with the everyday submission to him, and the faith that knows that he will bring about our good and his glory.
Praying for spiritual happy dances every day,
Samantha Elliott (Hillside)
Grace I am from Hillside and a friend of your moms. I am so sorry that your news is not what you hoped for. I am praying that you are ” walking well “way sooner than is predicted. ..after all the name of this blog is “walking with Grace” not sitting with Grace! Your faith is inspiring. Your blog is cute, honest and funny. I can’t wait to meet you some day.
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Thanks, Sandy! I can’t wait to meet you too !
Oh Grace. Thank you for this incredible story and your response to it that you shared. This blesses me on a personal level that sometime I know we will have the chance to discuss. I pray to have this faith like yours in growing measure. Huge hugs and love in Christ,
Grace ~ you do not know me .. however I have been following your most inspirational story of true GRACE .
You & Ivan have shown such tremendous strength and humility through you entire journey of healing .
Ever since I read your tragic story in Debby Stitzinger’s FB Page .. you have been in my daily prayers .
We never know Gods plan in our lives .. however this unexpected turn in your lives have allowed you to pause and trust God in a way .. so few ever have .
Your name alone GRACE .. is defined so many ways in the Bible .
Grace is associated strongly with the gifts of the Spirit. This is true of the list of gifts in Ephesians 4:3-11 corporately to the church and the gifts given to individuals within the church for its edification ( Rom 12:4-8 ; 1 Cor 12 ). In all of the work of grace about which Paul speaks, the Spirit has been implicit if not directly explicit. Hence, even though grace is not specifically mentioned in 1 Corinthians 12, the Spirit gives to each one a gift “as he determines” The simple mention of these attributes as “gifts” throughout the chapter implies that they are a work of GRACE as well, but the connection with grace is explicit in the similar passage of Romans 12:3-8. Paul states we have different gifts “according to the GRACE given us” , and he has opened the passage by stating that the source of his statement about thinking of others more than you think of yourself by saying that it comes through GRACE .
As hard as your news was to hear … Gods plan is in place .. A time to trust and take in all that God has blessed your miracle of life after such a tragic almost Fatal freak accident.
Just know I will continue each day to pray for you and Ivan .. your continued recovery and patience as God restores your strength and abilities each and every day !
You are so blessed to have a loving husband by your side encouraging you and sacrificing and loving you each day !
You have been such an inspiration to me each day ., and I will continue to pray and watch your progress .. it is by the GRACE of God .. you have survived and are healing in HIS time ❤️❣️❤️GOD BLESS
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Hi Sharon – thank you so much for your sweet message! Your encouragement means a lot!
I am from Hillside and a friend of your dad and mom. We are mutual Packer fans.
Your courage and dependence on the Lord during this journey is inspiring. He will honor your determination. I’ll be praying for more happy dances in your mind and on your feet.
Say hi to your mom for me. Tell her I’m praying for her too.
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Grace, you have been our prayer chain for sometime here in Green Bay Wisconsin ( Jacob’s Well) I just read you “But even if not…” post and I’m so reminded of God’s grace. I pray for strength for you I pray for endurance I pray for confidence in the Lord. I also love this verse and story of Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego. I believe God is good and he loved us. May you always be reminded of this in every “happy dance” time and every “set back”. Many blessing to you and your family.
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