My personal story begs the question. After 14 months of (mostly) forward progress, we find ourselves taking a whole lot of disappointing steps backward. I’ve had 40 seizures in just the past two weeks, and all of them were triggered by lights in my own apartment. But today’s post is not really about me. It’s about a whole lot of other stories that are just as raw and just as real.

I’m not sure if the accident has helped more broken people open up to us, or if it simply opened our eyes to the suffering we used to pass by without in-depth consideration. We know several people with epilepsy or who’ve had strokes. There are sick children and sick grown ups. Some of them die. There are drugs. There are lost jobs. None of the sufferers – or their families – can be what they once were. Broken people are scary to approach if you’ve never been broken yourself, and I don’t begin to know how some of these losses feel since each broken person is different.  Nevertheless,  I hope I can talk with them and pray for them better since I do understand pain, frustration, and confusion a whole lot more than before. Stepping away from our personal circle, though, there are greater national and global tragedies that not only wreck lives but eliminate them, too. So, what do we do with ourselves? And what do we do with God?

Let’s talk about the God question first. With all the messed up people and places in this world, how can anyone possibly call God kind? Let’s be curious together…I know I need that answer too.

Since our question concerns God, maybe He should speak for Himself first.

“For rarely will someone die for a just person – though for a good person perhaps someone might even dare to die. But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” ~ Romans 5:7-8

We broke God’s world by choosing bad things over His good way. I know I’ve done things I’m not proud of. Instead of holding me to what I chose, God broke Himself for me so He wouldn’t have to leave me broken forever. Why would He chose to break Himself? I don’t think I’ve ever chosen brokenness over wholeness.

“So that in the coming ages He might display the immeasurable riches through His kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” ~ Ephesians 2:7

We can rely on His brokenness now, so that we will be able to experience the richness of His wholeness when He makes all things right. I know I often wish for a “fast-forward” button to the day when God returns to His earth and brings healing to creation – and to all who trusted Him in the meantime…BUT…

“God, Your faithful love is so valuable that people take refuge in the shadow of your wings.” ~ Psalm 36:7

We would have no idea of how faithful and valuable God really is if we never knew loss in some capacity.  We have souls that live forever, but our physical conditions are only temporary. Our job is to cling to eternity, and to the hope that we will enjoy God most fully at the end of our earthly life. Until then, we have the beautiful (albeit sometimes painful) opportunity to know God as a faithful refuge.

If we look beyond the temporary, God is indeed kind. Trusting that is what we do with ourselves.




7 thoughts on “Can I Really Call God ‘Kind’?

  1. Grace, your articulate insights amid such ongoing unknowns and heartache inspire each of us as you and Ivan both consistently focus on God’s character. You are powerfully living Paul’s words in 2 Thess. 2:15:”So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the teachings we passed on to you…” I echo his prayer in the following verses for you and Ivan:”May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.”
    Thanking God for your faithfulness and praying for His healing hand in all this.


  2. Grace: I believe you have a God-given gift to express yourself with words that can give hope and inspiration to those who need it because you are basing your faith on the One who is TRUTH AND LOVE!!! “Cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.” Psalm 55:22.


  3. Thank you for your wonderful thoughts as you traverse this road God has allowed you. You inspire me — I lost the love of my life (60+ years) last Dec. and it has been so difficult without him by nay side. I have a more intimate relationship with our Father now because of this huge loss. There are so many losses, as you have said, so I certainly can identify with those who are going their losses whatever that may be. God can use us in our broken state


  4. I am moved and impressed by your ability to dig deeply and describe your experiences as you struggle to recover from all that has happened and is happening to you. I suspect that God is with you in a very real way, daily molding and shaping you. Time will ultimately reveal the new ‘Grace’ God has in mind.
    Just minutes before reading your blog, I finished reading the following poem my late mother wrote. It seems to correlate so well with your experience.

    I’ve tasted joys that play upon the sense,
    I’ve known the questing pleasures of the
    Where my soul’s earthly elixirs condense
    To gratify and ultimately bind
    With hungers that no passing earth can fill,
    As can one moment in Thy precious will.

    Then, keep, dear Lord, my battered citadel
    Where all my beings deepest rivers flow,
    That common clamors there your Word
    may quell,
    That none may harm the hushed rapport
    we know. . .

    Grant, Lord, no holy war, nor sudden sea
    May mar the sweetness of Your Will for me!
    — Elsie Hawkins


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s