As someone who struggles with perfectionism, I often agonize over questions like “Did I say something wrong? Do something wrong?” when people – and sometimes even God – don’t respond the way I hope. While it’s good to take the log out of my own eye, I can easily take this too far and assume there is always a correlation between my social finesse or spiritual growth and how a situation is unfolding.

My unhealthy fixation on personal competence is why, when I was reading the famous story of Solomon asking God for wisdom in 1 Kings 3:1-15 a few days ago, I was struck for the first time by everything God chose to overlook about Solomon, even as he responded to his request with abundant favor.

That night the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream, and God said, “What do you want? Ask, and I will give it to you!”
 Solomon replied, “You showed great and faithful love to your servant my father, David, because he was honest and true and faithful to you…
 Now, O Lord my God, you have made me king instead of my father, David, but I am like a little child who doesn’t know his way around…  Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?”

1 Kings 3:5-8

Each time I’ve read this story before, I’ve thought, “Wow, Solomon was already so wise and humble! If God appeared to me and told me to name my heart’s desire, there’s no way I would have responded that well.”

But as I read this passage again recently, I began noticing other details. While Solomon did make a much wiser request than I would have likely made, he’d already made other choices that directly violated God’s law. He’d married a foreign wife who worshiped false gods (3:1; 11:4). Not only were Israelites worshiping God in places other than those God had specified, but Solomon himself was participating in that worship (3:2). 

However, God doesn’t mention any of this when he appears to Solomon, although he will address both issues later in Solomon’s reign (1 Kings 11:1-13). Instead, he responds to the heart of love that motivated Solomon to offer a staggering 1,000 burnt offerings, as well as the eternal covenant God previously made with Solomon’s father, David.

How does this interaction encourage me? While I don’t think it communicates that we can habitually disregard God’s Word and expect uninterrupted blessing (Paul discusses the relationship between grace and obedience in Romans 6:1-11), for someone like me who struggles with perfectionism, this story brings hope that when God blesses us, he does so out of a conscious choice to overlook our imperfections, not as a reaction to our crossing every “i” and dotting every “t.”

God can shower us with abundance and remain both holy and loving because he’s looking not at us, but rather at Jesus’ sinless life that was lived in our place, and his spotless death that absorbed the full force of divine wrath that we deserve. This is what God was anticipating when he answered Solomon’s prayer so extravagantly, and this is also what he looks back to each time he responds to you and me. 

“So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.  So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” ~Hebrews 4:14 -16