Face Question Mark

Grace: Hi everyone! Our rollercoaster ride over the past few weeks reminded me of someone who’s never showed up on the blog: the man who hit me. The man who hit me and didn’t even say “I’m sorry.”

My first clear thought about this man came in the rehab hospital. The night nurse was putting me to bed, but she hesitated before pouring out some pills. “Are you mad?” she said. I thought she meant about the accident in general, so I gave her my standard reply. “Not really…I mean, how could I be mad? I’m alive when I should be dead!” She laughed. “No, not about that…are you mad at the guy who hit you?” That made me stop and think. (Thinking took a lot longer back then.) “No,” I said finally. “I think I just feel bad for him. I’d hate to live the rest of my life knowing I had done this.”

She probably thought I was drugged, but what I said was true. I still feel truly sorry for him. Ruining someone’s life is a terrible ghost to haunt you. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I don’t want that man to get hurt. (I don’t want him dead or hit by a car in case you’re wondering!) I definitely don’t want him to go to Hell.

So what do I want?

I’ve thought about this a lot and come up with two big wishes:

  1. That he would encounter God through Jesus before the end of his life. Facing a just and angry God with the pain of our accident on his hands would be a terrifying, terrifying fate.
  2. I don’t want him punished “for real” in this life or the next, but I would love to do one thing to him. I want to make him watch one critical day – just one day – of our post-accident lives. It could be me way back in ICU that first night when I was supposed to die. It could be me in therapy trying so hard to catch up to a bunch of amputee patients. It could be me in the hospital during any one of my stays in the past seven months, having seizure after seizure after seizure. I’d love for him to have to turn around and look Mom and Dad and Ivan in the eye during one of those moments and see their fear and pain and exhaustion. I’d love for him to be with us just one day and think “I did this.”

Yeah I have to admit it would feel pretty great if someone could make wish #2 come true. Thankfully for the man who hit me, they can’t. But my wish #1 is still my top wish for him. The best part is that it could come true. He really could find Jesus one day and be forgiven. But in the meantime, whatever happens…I still feel really, really sorry for him.

P.S. This is all I’m at liberty to share at the moment. There may be a Part 2 at some point in the future where we can share more. But for now, thanks for your patience!

Ivan: I won’t write too much for now, but I just wanted to add two things. First, there is a legal side to this accident that Grace and I can’t elaborate on just yet. However, Grace and I can say that we have received no settlement from the offending party and most likely will not. Second, as much pain as this person has caused us, and as great as his need for God’s forgiveness is, Grace and I are reminded that we also need God’s forgiveness for our sins. The Bible is clear that everyone needs forgiveness, but it also gives a clear path to forgiveness through Jesus. Thank you all for your love and support!


5 thoughts on “The Man who Hit Me (Part 1)

  1. Wow, You both truly have the heart of Jesus. Thank you for your honest offering of your feelings and the truth of your own need of the Gospel. I’m seriously deeply moved by this post and your maturity as Christ-followers. You’re lives glorify God.


  2. Oh, Grace,

    If only the whole world had your perspective, what an amazing place it would be! There have been so many times over the years that I have prayed for someone to continue to share the gospel with my own offender — my stepdad. Only by God”s grace, I forgave him and later shared the gospel with him, but I keep praying that someone who knows where he is will be able to help him from there. Now I pray that one of us who knows you and is praying for you could share the gospel with your unknown hit-and-run driver. If we are ready to give an answer for the hope that lies within us, and if we remember that people truly need God’s love and forgiveness, then maybe the gospel message will make its way around to that man…and my stepdad, too.

    Thank you for your incredible example,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Samantha – thank you for sharing part of your personal journey here. I can be praying for your stepdad, too. Thankfully there are literally millions of believers God can use to finish his work in people’s hearts!


  3. I don’t remember but I’m guessing that this was a hit and run accident You have shown such amazing faith and trust in the Lord and forgiveness for the one who hit you. It is hard to fathom what you go through on a daily basis. I just watched a YouTube of “Kim Hopper… testimony of Lexi and Peace in the Midst of the Storm.” Her story tells why she went through the early premature birth of her daughter and how she ministered to so many. I feel that you have ministered to those who have helped care for you. Look up that YouTube. She is a Southern Gospel singer with her family.


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