Wednesdays perplex me.This was especially true when I was working! My first cup of coffee elicited “Yay! It’s already half way to the weekend!”. My last waking moments left me with “Ugh, it’s still only half way to the weekend.”
I am no longer working, but I can say my family and I are experiencing a “Wednesday” end to our February. I’m blessed that I’ve just been authorized for my first appointment at Stanford. That calls for a major yay-YAY! (Yes, I did just finish some coffee.) I’m somewhat less blessed that said appointment is not until April 2nd. Yikes. Just to give a refresher, I was released from the hospital on January 25th, at which time I petitioned my insurance to approve treatment at Stanford’s neurological research clinic.
I’ve got one month of waiting down, and one still to go. February 28th is the “Wednesday” of waiting.
It’s easy to focus on what I did NOT expect going into this trial: a Stanford wait list, way too many “call waitings,” and “out of office” emails, and missing paperwork, courtesy of my own insurance…not to mention keeping even more of our lights off at home, spending several hours in bed after every seizure, and asking Mom and Dad to completely rearrange their lives to supervise me every time Ivan leaves the apartment.
But there are good things I did not expect, either. I’m shocked at how positive, flexible, and God-focused my family continues to be with each new adjustment. I’m shocked at the volume of love and support pouring in from all y’all. I’m shocked at the degree to which God is digging into my own heart during this trial. It’s easy to fantasize about how spiritually healthy you are…until things STOP going your way. (My family has gotten box seats to this probing, and are always ready to jump in with wisdom and redirection when I need it. <3)
Most of all, I’m shocked at the beauty of God’s availability. He never shuts us down with “call waiting,” or “please hold,” or “out of the office”. He certainly doesn’t use a waiting list. While His answer may surprise us, He’s still always listening. Always. As I continue to marvel at the length of our odyssey to Stanford, I also continue to marvel at God’s limitless listening ear.