This sign was given to me by a friend during the middle of my hospital days (I was still not super conscious at that time) . As I became more alert , my eyes kept wandering to the sign, and its message began to impact me much more than I expected. I literally stared at the words every single day…and most days probably many times a day. There was so much facing me (big things and little things) that I did not feel brave about at all…But the sign helped me realize that I actually could (through God’s help) choose to be brave, no matter how scared I felt.
The word “Today” was what struck me most. Super high pain levels, needles, multiple medical procedures when I was awake, infection, being separated from Ivan at night, and learning a long list of what my body couldn’t do seemed overwhelming…but I realized I could make it through all that for one day. Two days, or five, or a month…that was way too daunting to even think about being brave for…but God helped me trust Him and hang on for one day. And after that? I woke up, and prayed, and made it another day. I’m not a brave person (I think my family could tell you that I’m a pretty accomplished worrier!) but God is teaching me to walk with Him one day at a time, and I’m learning that’s all I need to do. As much as I wish He’d go ahead and make me brave for at least the next week, He only gives me courage for today so that I have to keep going back to Him.
That sign helped me get through the initial hospital days (which I can easily say were the hardest days of my life so far), and it still helps me every day at home as I’m faced with pain (I would have loved to let the hospital keep that one!), endless doctor and therapy appointments, and still needing help for most daily activities. But God is way smarter than I am, and I’m glad He’s taking this experience to help me learn to be brave, one day at a time.